In this episode of O₃: The Black Girl Formula, we’re stepping into a new era: Date Yourself, Sis. This is for the woman who is done decoding confusion, done romanticizing potential, and finally ready to choose herself—fully and without apology.

After a run-in on Hinge with a man who once claimed he “wasn’t ready” but is now “seeking monogamy,” Nel realizes something deeper: the lesson was never about him. It was about her graduation. Graduation from chasing clarity, from waiting to be chosen, from mistaking inconsistency for connection.

This episode unpacks what it means to move from external validation to internal devotion. Nel reflects on the shift from her 20s—where love felt like proving—to her 30s, where love feels like peace. Because self-love isn’t a caption, it’s consistency. It’s how you show up for yourself in the quiet, ordinary moments.

Grounded in the work of bell hooks, we explore the difference between surface-level self-care and integrity-based self-love—the kind that transforms your standards, your boundaries, and your entire frequency. This is about becoming the kind of woman who no longer looks for love, but recognizes when it matches her.

But we’re not staying in reflection—we’re moving into practice.

This episode introduces a powerful reset:

Observe how you show up when you’re alone Own the patterns that kept you settling Opt out of urgency, confusion, and chasing validation

Overthinking. Overfeeling. Overcoming.

Tap in—this one is about becoming the love you’ve been waiting for.

Follow @03theformula on Instagram

Curated by: Nel @litbadgyal

Producer: Kay @KaydaProducer

Original music by: Lil Sha @lillshaofficial

In this episode of O₃: The Black Girl Formula, we’re unpacking what it really means to exist as a Black neurodivergent woman in workplaces that were never built for our brains, our bodies, or our boundaries.

From masking and overperforming to navigating constant double and triple standards, Nel names the invisible labor of trying to be understood in spaces that benefit from your silence. This isn’t just about the job you were hired to do, it’s about the second job of surviving the environment.

Grounded in the words and legacy of Assata Shakur, we explore why freedom has never come from appealing to the people in power and what it looks like to instead practice liberation in real time. Nel breaks down “triple consciousness” and the tension of navigating race, gender, and neurodivergence all at once, while calling out the exhausting cycle of overexplaining, overdelivering, and shrinking to fit.

But we’re not staying stuck there.

This episode introduces a simple but powerful formula:

Observe where you’re masking

Own what makes you “too much”

Opt out of seeking approval from systems that were never meant to affirm you

Overthinking. Overfeeling. Overcoming.

Tap in—this one is about releasing the performance and reclaiming yourself.

Follow @03theformula on Instagram

Curated by: Nel @litbadgyal

Producer: Kay @KaydaProducer

Original music by: Lil Sha @lillshaofficial

In this episode of O₃: The Black Girl Formula, we’re unpacking what it really means for Black girls and Black boys to create safety with each other. Not just in romance, but in family, friendship, and the ways we work together too. From tenderness to trust, we’re naming what it looks like to soften and still be seen.

We get into the healing that happens side by side, and Nel weaves in the brilliance of Nikki Giovanni and James Baldwin’s iconic conversation to ground the truth that safety isn’t a luxury—it’s the foundation.

Overthinking. Overfeeling. Overcoming.

Tap in—this one is about soft power and safe connections.

Follow @03theformula on Instagram

Curated by: Nel @litbadgyal

Producer: Kay @KaydaProducer

Original music by: Lil Sha @lillshaofficial