Hey! You're early! This podcast isn't here yet... Buuuut, since you're here, I might as well tell ya a little about what's going to be here.

Noodles Al Dante is a chaotic trip through Dantes Inferno. It ditches the academic examinations in favor of a format we simple folk can understand.

It's full of silly voices, bad words, gross jokes, pop culture references both relevant and irrelevant, and an irresponsible amount of politically divisive rhetoric.

So if you don't like jokes about Joe Biden's corruption or his failing cognitive state, or jokes about those gouls Stephen Miller and Brett Kavanaugh, or Bernie Sanders impressions, or jabs at Alexandria Ocasio Cortez and Nancy Pelosi, if you get upset when people make fun of Donald Trump, or J.D Vance and his furniture, you might just wanna stay away, because like Nebraska, Noodles Al Dante isn't for everyone.

Definitely stay away if you get offended by jokes about Mere Kats.

If you're looking for all the fun of a chaotic trip through hell without anything offensive (but still ridiculously fun) the clean book version, The Tortured Poets Department (Tyler's Version) A Noodles Al Dante Book, will be available when this podcast officially launches!

For the time being you can check out clips and junk at www.NoodlesAlDante.com!

And if you're wondering when this show will officially launch, it's February 17, 2026!

If you'd like a comprehensive list of sources that contributed to the research of this project you can find them at www.NoodlesAlDante.com

Noodles Al Dante was written and produced by Tyler Martinez.

The intro and outro music is from the wonderful world of the public domain - Silly Symphonies Hells Bells (1929)

The record scratch in the intro is "record scratch.wav" by luffy -- https://freesound.org/s/3536/ -- License: Attribution 4.0

Dante and Virgil on the cover of the book version was created by Justin Hansen.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 1 Cantos 1 and 2 Hesitation Marks

Before we get too snuggled up with each other, I feel it’s important to remind you (and I’ll remind you again at some point I’m sure) that I’m not a scholar. I’m not a professor. I’m not even a professional of anything. By day I’m just a lowly janitor. By night I’m just an ordinary guy reading about Dante, and somewhere in between, I’m just some rando typing into a word processor (and maybe talking into a microphone). Okay, now moving on.

For a more PG-13 version of this check out The Tortured Poets Department (Tyler's Version) A Noodles Al Dante Book!

E-Book at Amazon: https://a.co/d/0aQRMQw3

Paperback at Lulu: Tortured Poets Department (Tyler's Version): A Noodles Al Dante Book

OR download it for FREE at www.NoodlesAlDante.com!

If you'd like a comprehensive list of sources that contributed to the research of this project you can find them at www.NoodlesAlDante.com

Noodles Al Dante was written and produced by Tyler Martinez.

The intro and outro music is from the wonderful world of the public domain - Silly Symphonies Hells Bells (1929)

The record scratch in the intro is "record scratch.wav" by luffy -- https://freesound.org/s/3536/ -- License: Attribution 4.0

Dante and Virgil on the cover of the book version was created by Justin Hansen

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 2 Canto 3 Vestibule and Uncommitted

I’m not here to make anyone angry. I’ll complain about the left AND the right, and I won’t insist there’s a god above, just like I won’t insist there isn’t one. Again, there’s great people on both sides. So, what do ya say, how about you and me go grab some cofvefe?

For a more PG-13 version of this check out The Tortured Poets Department (Tyler's Version) A Noodles Al Dante Book!

E-Book at Amazon: https://a.co/d/0aQRMQw3

Paperback at Lulu: Tortured Poets Department (Tyler's Version): A Noodles Al Dante Book

OR download it for FREE at www.NoodlesAlDante.com!

If you'd like a comprehensive list of sources that contributed to the research of this project you can find them at www.NoodlesAlDante.com

Noodles Al Dante was written and produced by Tyler Martinez.

The intro and outro music is from the wonderful world of the public domain - Silly Symphonies Hells Bells (1929)

The record scratch in the intro is "record scratch.wav" by luffy -- https://freesound.org/s/3536/ -- License: Attribution 4.0

Dante and Virgil on the cover of the book version was created by Justin Hansen

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Noodles Al Dante Ep. 3 Canto 4 Circle 1 Virtuous Pagans and Unbaptized Limbo

They weren't bad. They were just born that way.

For a more PG-13 version of this check out The Tortured Poets Department (Tyler's Version) A Noodles Al Dante Book!

E-Book at Amazon: https://a.co/d/0aQRMQw3

Paperback at Lulu: Tortured Poets Department (Tyler's Version): A Noodles Al Dante Book

OR download it for FREE at www.NoodlesAlDante.com!

If you'd like a comprehensive list of sources that contributed to the research of this project you can find them at www.NoodlesAlDante.com

Noodles Al Dante was written and produced by Tyler Martinez.

The intro and outro music is from the wonderful world of the public domain - Silly Symphonies Hells Bells (1929)

The record scratch in the intro is "record scratch.wav" by luffy -- https://freesound.org/s/3536/ -- License: Attribution 4.0

Dante and Virgil on the cover of the book version was created by Justin Hansen

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Noodles Al Dante Ep. 4 Canto 5 Circle 2 Lust

Greek mythology is like supes weird okay... Honestly, I could go further down this rabbit hole, and we could spiral into the depravity of bestiality together, but I'm not sure that's how I want to spend my time with you... Well... Maybe just a little depravity... Little bit.

For a more PG-13 version of this check out The Tortured Poets Department (Tyler's Version) A Noodles Al Dante Book!

E-Book at Amazon: https://a.co/d/0aQRMQw3

Paperback at Lulu: Tortured Poets Department (Tyler's Version): A Noodles Al Dante Book

OR download it for FREE at www.NoodlesAlDante.com!

If you'd like a comprehensive list of sources that contributed to the research of this project you can find them at www.NoodlesAlDante.com

Noodles Al Dante was written and produced by Tyler Martinez.

The intro and outro music is from the wonderful world of the public domain - Silly Symphonies Hells Bells (1929)

The record scratch in the intro is "record scratch.wav" by luffy -- https://freesound.org/s/3536/ -- License: Attribution 4.0

Dante and Virgil on the cover of the book version was created by Justin Hansen

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Tortured Poets Department (Tyler's Version) A Noodles Al Dante Book

Canto 5 Lust

This is a sample from the cleaned-up print version of the podcast. You can download it for free at www.NoodlesAlDante.com, purchase the E-Book on Amazon, or get the physical edition from Lulu.

If you'd like a comprehensive list of sources that contributed to the research of this project you can find them at www.NoodlesAlDante.com

Noodles Al Dante was written and produced by Tyler Martinez.

The intro and outro music is from the wonderful world of the public domain - Silly Symphonies Hells Bells (1929)

The record scratch in the intro is "record scratch.wav" by luffy -- https://freesound.org/s/3536/ -- License: Attribution 4.0

Dante and Virgil on the cover of the book version was created by Justin Hansen.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Noodles Al Dante Ep. 5 Canto 6 Circle 3 Gluttony

Dante is less concerned with historical or mythological accuracy here, and more concerned with theology. His version of Cerberus is an all-encompassing symbol of gluttony.

For a more PG-13 version of this check out The Tortured Poets Department (Tyler's Version) A Noodles Al Dante Book!

E-Book at Amazon: https://a.co/d/0aQRMQw3

Paperback at Lulu: Tortured Poets Department (Tyler's Version): A Noodles Al Dante Book

OR download it for FREE at www.NoodlesAlDante.com!

If you'd like a comprehensive list of sources that contributed to the research of this project you can find them at www.NoodlesAlDante.com

Noodles Al Dante was written and produced by Tyler Martinez.

The intro and outro music is from the wonderful world of the public domain - Silly Symphonies Hells Bells (1929)

The record scratch in the intro is "record scratch.wav" by luffy -- https://freesound.org/s/3536/ -- License: Attribution 4.0

Dante and Virgil on the cover of the book version was created by Justin Hansen.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Noodles Al Dante Ep. 6 Canto 7 Circle 4 Hoarders and Wasters

Lady Fortuna! You have given too much wealth to too few people! For every billionaire sipping champagne on a yacht, there are 20,000 millionaires checking their portfolios, a million people rationing rice, and 250,000 praying the power stays on.

For a more PG-13 version of this check out The Tortured Poets Department (Tyler's Version) A Noodles Al Dante Book!

E-Book at Amazon: https://a.co/d/0aQRMQw3

Paperback at Lulu: Tortured Poets Department (Tyler's Version): A Noodles Al Dante Book

OR download it for FREE at www.NoodlesAlDante.com!

If you'd like a comprehensive list of sources that contributed to the research of this project you can find them at www.NoodlesAlDante.com

Noodles Al Dante was written and produced by Tyler Martinez.

The intro and outro music is from the wonderful world of the public domain - Silly Symphonies Hells Bells (1929)

The record scratch in the intro is "record scratch.wav" by luffy -- https://freesound.org/s/3536/ -- License: Attribution 4.0

Dante and Virgil on the cover of the book version was created by Justin Hansen.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.