It's never too late to change, pick up something new, or deepen a relationship. Ilene Berns-Zare — psychologist, coach, and author of You're Not Too Old and It's Not Too Late: Weekly Practices of Meaning, Mindfulness, and New Possibilities at Midlife and Beyond — joins Julie to talk about reimagining the second half of life with more curiosity, resilience, and possibility. We dig into what resilience actually means at midlife and beyond, how to question the negative labels our culture attaches to aging, and the daily practices — strengths, gratitude, connection — that support thriving in any season.

WHAT WE TALK ABOUT

• Resilience as a series of realizations, understandings, and choices — not a one-and-done trait
• Building resilience like a muscle, and why over-rescuing can interrupt that process in the people we love
• Questioning the negative labels and stereotypes our culture assigns to aging
• Reframing language: “growing older” instead of “getting old,” “seasoned” instead of “over the hill”
• Using your character strengths — including the free VIA strengths survey — instead of focusing only on what's wrong
• Hope theory, agency, and pathways thinking applied to midlife and beyond
• Self-compassion, flexibility, and adjusting timelines as life circumstances shift
• Daily gratitude practices, including the “three good things” exercise

Thank you for listening. We are so happy you found us.

If you enjoyed today’s episode, follow Nine to Thrive: The Well-Being Podcast so our new episodes are automatically delivered to your favorite podcast feed, and please share it with a friend!

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We would be so grateful if you left a 5 star rating and a few words about what you liked (or loved) about this episode.

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More about Ilene:

Ilene Berns-Zare is a life and leadership coach, psychologist, educator, and author who helps people navigate their lives with resilience, meaning, mindfulness, and well-being. She's the author of You're Not Too Old and It's Not Too Late: Weekly Practices of Meaning, Mindfulness, and New Possibilities at Midlife and Beyond, and writes the blog Flourish and Thrive on Psychology.com. Her work focuses on helping people flourish by bringing mind, body, and spirit into flow with their strengths, purpose, and potential.

Website - https://ibzcoaching.com/

Blogs - http://ibzcoaching.com/blog

Psychology Today- https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/contributors/ilene-berns-zare-psyd

LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/ilene-berns-zare-psyd-pcc-cec-9062a39b/

Blue Sky Social - @ileneberns-zare.bsky.social

Expertise is supposed to make us better — until the moment it doesn't. In this episode, Julie explores beginner's mind: what it actually is, why it's not the same thing as knowing less, and why holding what you know a little more lightly might be one of the biggest advantages you can bring to work, relationships, and change.

WHAT WE COVER

• Why expertise can backfire — the Einstellung effect and how experience narrows what we're able to see
• The real difference between beginner's mind and growth mindset
• Cognitive flexibility and intellectual humility — what the research says about staying open
• How calcified expertise shows up at work — and what a true beginner would notice that you've stopped seeing
• Why becoming an “expert” on the people closest to you can be a trap
• Beginner's mind as an antidote to the fear of the unfamiliar
• Five self-coaching questions to find where certainty might be costing you more than not-knowing would

REFLECTION QUESTIONS

• Where in your work have you stopped asking questions because you're “supposed” to already know the answer?
• Think of someone close to you — what's one assumption about them you haven't actually checked lately?
• Where might your experience be narrowing your options instead of expanding them?
• If you approached this week as a total beginner, what would you notice that you've stopped seeing?
• Where is certainty costing you more than not-knowing would?

Thank you for listening. We are so happy you found us.

If you enjoyed today’s episode, follow Nine to Thrive: The Well-Being Podcast so our new episodes are automatically delivered to your favorite podcast feed, and please share it with a friend!

Reviews and ratings matter <3

We would be so grateful if you left a 5 star rating and a few words about what you liked (or loved) about this episode.

Want more tools and strategies for thriving and flourishing?

-Check out Julie’s website and subscribe to her monthly newsletter here

-Follow Julie on Instagram

-Follow her on LinkedIn

-Interested in working with Julie? Book an inquiry call here

We live in a culture that recognizes some griefs and quietly overlooks the rest. Nicole Collins — a former tech executive, twice-over caregiver, founder of Bea, and grief educator— joins Julie to talk about grief in all its forms and why processing it is essential to thriving

WHAT WE COVER

• Caregiving for two while leading a team — and the self-abandonment that came with it
• Grief beyond death: job loss, fractured friendships, family estrangement
• Why we have rituals for some griefs and none for others
• Collective grief and what we're still carrying from COVID
• Why processing grief is essential to thriving, not separate from it
• Humor as a legitimate grief skill
• Why the first year after loss is a dangerous financial window
• Nicole's three regular practices for thriving

RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

• Anderson Cooper's podcast All There Is
• Tara Brach — Radical Acceptance

ABOUT MY GUEST

Nicole Collins is the founder of Bea, a voice AI guide that helps widows through the financial decisions of the first year after loss. Before founding Bea, she spent 15+ years leading people and marketing teams in tech, most recently as VP of People and Marketing at Innovasea. She was a caregiver twice over — for her mom and for her partner Christian, who died of brain cancer in 2023 — all while holding down an executive role. She's a certified grief educator and a believer that humor is a legitimate grief skill.

CONNECT WITH NICOLE

• Bea
• LinkedIn