This week on Myopia Movies, we accept an invitation to Auntie’s house, which is a mistake, because Auntie’s house is hungry.

Nobuhiko Obayashi’s 1977 Japanese horror-comedy follows Gorgeous and her six schoolmates (Kung Fu, Prof, Fantasy, Melody, Mac, and Sweetie, because subtlety was not on the call sheet) as they head to the countryside for a summer getaway. What awaits them is a sentient house, a murderous piano, a possessed cat, a watermelon with a secret, and special effects that look like a kaleidoscope fell down a flight of stairs. The film was conceived in part with Obayashi’s young daughter, which explains a lot about the logic, and nothing about the ceiling lamp.

Is it a horror film? A comedy? A fever dream assembled from the contents of a 1970s Toho prop closet? Yes. Join us as we riff through one of the most gloriously unhinged movies ever made, where the editing has no rules and the plot has no brakes. Bring snacks, but keep a close eye on them. They may be sentient too.

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Director: Nobuhiko Obayashi

Main cast:

• Kimiko Ikegami as Gorgeous (Oshare)
• Kumiko Ohba as Kung Fu
• Yōko Minamida as Auntie
• Miki Jinbo as Prof (Ōtsuka)
• Ai Matsubara as Fantasy
• Eriko Tanaka as Mac (Kuinshiru)
• Masayo Miyako as Melody
• Mieko Sato as Sweetie
• Kiyohiko Ozaki as Mr. Togo
• Saho Sasazawa as Gorgeous’s father (Mr. Gorgeous)
• Haruko Wanibuchi as Gorgeous’s stepmother

Something is rotten in Middleton, and everyone thinks it’s Frances. Pranks are piling up across town, the adults are furious, and the only person who believes her innocent is a childhood imaginary friend who has shown up unannounced with some alarming news: the Boogeyman is real, he’s loose, and he’s framing her.

This week we revisit a Disney Channel Original Movie from the golden age of tweens, slumber parties, and a weirdly high number of adults who refuse to listen to teenagers. We riff on the logic of the Boogeyman’s master plan, the town’s astonishing lack of due process, and why nobody ever just checks under the bed.

Grab a flashlight, keep your feet off the floor, and join us.

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Directed by Kenneth Johnson

Starring: Erin Chambers, Ty Hodges, Robin Riker, Steve Valentine, Stephen Tobolowsky, Jake Sakson

A whole town has vanished. Snowfield, Colorado, is empty except for a few corpses, a ringing phone, and a vibe that says "don't touch anything." Naturally, we touch everything.

This week we riff on Phantoms, the 1998 adaptation of Dean Koontz's horror novel. Two sisters (Joanna Going and Rose McGowan) roll into town and find it deserted. Then they find Sheriff Ben Affleck, who is very serious about all of this. Then a scientist (Peter O'Toole, who is clearly there for the paycheck and the vibes) shows up to explain that the answer is an ancient shapeshifting horror from beneath the earth. Liev Schreiber is also here, to remind us that this was a very strange moment in everyone's career.

We discuss:

• Why every small-town sheriff in a horror movie takes "the entire population is gone" so calmly
• Peter O'Toole delivering exposition like he's reading the Magna Carta to a hostage
• A monster that is part Lovecraft, part Play-Doh, and part "the effects budget ran out"
• Where Phantoms sits in the great late-'90s tradition of horror movies that want to be Scream but can't commit

Grab your snacks, check that your phone line isn't dead, and join us for another round of riffing.

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