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You’ve probably felt it before: you did the course, earned the certification, sat through the workshop, took the notes and then the first real moment arrived and you still felt unprepared. That disconnect is not a character flaw, and it’s not proof you’re “bad at leadership.” It’s usually a training problem: you were taught tactics and steps, but not how to think when the situation is unclear, emotional, and moving fast.

Marc shares a blunt lesson from his LAPD days. After nearly 1,000 hours in the police academy, he walked into the streets feeling clueless, not because the training was bad, but because it focused on what to do without building the skill underneath it: real-time judgment. We talk about why field training officers function like coaches, how they shape decision-making, and why “common sense” disappears when you’re in uncommon scenarios. Then we bridge it to business coaching, entrepreneurship, fitness, and personal growth, where the internet can hand you infinite tactics but almost no one teaches you how high performers think.

We also dig into “thinking on purpose.” Instead of running old stories from your past on autopilot, we break down how to spot them, reframe them, and practice new perspectives until they become your default. Teresa shares how this showed up in hospital sustainability leadership, where influence and buy-in matter as much as practical skills, especially when you face pushback from busy teams.

If you’re ready to stop tactic-hopping and start building true self-leadership, listen now. Then subscribe, share this with a friend who’s leveling up, and leave a review with the biggest thinking shift you’re taking from the conversation.

If you’ve been listening to us talk about self-leadership and you’re ready to take the next step, enrollment is now open for the Self-Leadership Lab!

We begin November 2, and we’re limiting this group to just 15 participants.

You can learn more about the program and secure your spot at modernleadership.us/lab.

And if you’re newer to the podcast, or you’re curious about the Lab but aren’t quite sure whether it’s right for you, we also have a replay of our free self-leadership workshop available.

It’s an opportunity to experience how we teach and work through real-life challenges before making a decision.

Just reach out to us and ask for the workshop replay. We’ll be happy to share it!

Either way, we’d love to help you take that next step toward becoming a more effective leader.

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Looking to lead yourself effectively?

Sign up for our free Monday October 19th workshop, "It's Not a Discipline Problem:

modernleadership.us/workshop

You can be rock solid in one area of life and totally derailed in another, and it has nothing to do with “willpower.” Marc and Teresa map out a clear self-coaching framework that explains why: the four levels of self-coaching, which we also call the four levels of self-leadership. Once you can name the level you’re operating from, you can stop guessing and start changing your patterns on purpose.

We walk through each level in plain language. Level one is blame aimed outward, where you feel stuck because the solution is always someone else changing. Level two is the brutal one: you know what you should have done, but only after the moment has passed, so you default to guilt, self-criticism, and “why am I like this?” Level three is the turning point where you catch yourself mid-reaction, interrupt the pattern, reframe, and choose your A game. Level four is the goal: self-leadership becomes identity, your habits feel automatic, and you get your brain space back.

We also get practical about how people actually move up levels: building awareness of your internal dialogue, taking real ownership, getting an outside spotter, using a repeatable coaching framework, and getting feedback and reps until it sticks. You’ll hear Teresa’s personal health journey, plus why your environment can either accelerate growth or quietly pull you backward.

Ready to apply it fast? Rate yourself 1 to 4 in health, relationships, career, and parenting, then bring the one that matters most to you to the workshop!

Subscribe, share this with a high performer you care about, and leave a review so more people can learn to lead themselves when life gets hard.

Most people try to solve the wrong problem. They add more effort, more information, more action, when what's actually running the show is underneath all of it.

Our Self-Leadership Lab will help you to lead yourself through whatever life puts in front of you.

Start at modernleadership.us/lab

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Someone brings you a problem and your brain lights up with the perfect answer. That moment feels like leadership, but it is often the fastest way to lose trust, miss the real issue, and train people to stop coming to you at all. Marc and Teresa unpack how strong leaders choose between leading and listening, and why the secret is not a better script for guiding others but better self-leadership in the heat of a conversation.

We walk through the three “hats” most of us wear without noticing: the cheerleader, the fixer-mentor, and the coach. You will hear why cheerleading can create dependence, why mentoring too early turns people into carbon copies, and why coaching questions work only when they are intentional and grounded. We also dig into psychological safety, workplace communication, and the hidden layers beneath common complaints like “I need more clients” or “I do not have time.” Often the real constraint is 10 steps earlier than the story someone leads with.

You will leave with a practical framework: start with curiosity, ask more questions than you think you need, then earn the right to mentor by asking permission, and finally bring encouragement that reflects what you actually observed. We also share a weekly stretch you can try immediately: ask one more question before you answer and notice the urge to jump in and fix. If this helps, subscribe, share it with a leader who gives advice too fast, and leave us a review with the question you are going to ask first.

Learn more about the Self-Leadership Lab here: modernleadership.us/lab

Most people try to solve the wrong problem. They add more effort, more information, more action, when what's actually running the show is underneath all of it.

We put together a short series on how to lead yourself through whatever life puts in front of you.

Start at modernleadership.us/lead