Our very first guest! Marcus is in his early fifties, married for about 30 years, with two kids — and he came out to himself only a couple of years ago, in the emotional wake of the November 2024 election, blurting it out loud before he'd consciously worked it out. He takes Sam and Grayson through a decades-long slow burn: childhood clues he shelved, growing up in the '80s with no bi representation, a coworker "date" he didn't recognize as one, and a parents'-generation view of bisexuality that stuck with him. Being both demisexual and sapiosexual, Marcus needs a real connection before attraction shows up, which makes hookup apps a poor fit and the search for a guy genuinely hard. And his coming-out story takes a turn none of us saw coming! Plus: a mini-topic on apps versus connection, and how a hookup can slowly grow into a friend with benefits.

Heads up: 18+, adults only.

Disclaimer: The hosts aren't medical or mental-health professionals. Nothing here is medical, legal, or psychological advice — speak with a qualified provider about your own health and relationships.

Word of the Week: Demisexual — someone who feels sexual attraction to another person only after an emotional bond has formed. It says nothing about which gender(s) you're drawn to, just how attraction develops.

Other terms:
Sapiosexual: primarily attracted to intelligence or someone's mind. Marcus is both demisexual and sapiosexual.
ENM (ethical non-monogamy): an openly agreed, everyone-consents arrangement to have more than one partner.
FWB (friends with benefits): a friendship that includes a physical relationship.
Vibe check: a low-pressure in-person meet (often coffee) to see if you click before anything physical.

Apps mentioned: Feeld for open-minded, ENM, poly, and curious folks; Sniffies, a map-based cruising app; and Grindr, the household-name app for gay, bi, and queer men.

Next episode: Exploring with toys — butt toys, cock rings, and more (and a certain Transformers thread returns). Join us.

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Connect with us: Email podcast@bimenunfiltered.com with questions, topics, or your own story (write "OK for air" if we can read it on the show — and if you'd like to come on as a guest, same address). Find us at @BiMenUnfiltered on Facebook, Instagram, Threads, and X, and at BiMenUnfiltered.com on Bluesky.