Love & Tolerance in Recovery: Compassion With Boundaries
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Love & Tolerance in Recovery: Compassion With Boundaries
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Host Peg McDermott and co-host Heather Hageman discuss the recovery principle “love and tolerance of others is our code,” clarifying that it doesn’t require approving, agreeing with, or endlessly enduring harmful behavior.
They explore how compassion can coexist with truth-telling, boundaries, and refusing chaos, including Peg’s experience supporting a longtime friend facing prescription pill abuse and withdrawal while turning her over to a Higher Power and protecting her own wellbeing.
Heather reflects on how intolerance shows up as “they should do it my way,” fueling resentment, disconnection, and victim thinking, and how recovery calls for honesty, grace, and accepting reality without taking others’ inventory.
Together they distinguish healthy vs. unhealthy tolerance and emphasize healing the stories we attach to others’ behavior to preserve emotional sobriety and serenity.
00:00 Welcome and Topic
00:30 Love Tolerance Boundaries
02:27 Friend in Crisis
05:40 Defining Intolerance
09:06 Victimhood and Drama
12:04 Spiritual Medicine
14:12 Triggered by Victim Thinking
19:46 Stories Meaning and Healing
24:20 Wisdom of Our Code
27:09 Closing Thanks