Why does confidence feel so fragile?

You can get the date, enter a relationship, even achieve success in other areas of your life . . . and still feel like you’re “not good enough.” That insecurity can follow you through every stage: from messaging on apps, to first dates, to long-term relationships.

In this episode, Matthew breaks down why so many of us tie our confidence to external “metrics” — looks, success, status, attention — and why that approach inevitably leaves us anxious and comparing ourselves to everyone around us.

Matthew shares 2 powerful ways to build real confidence in dating; the kind that isn’t dependent on whether someone texts back, chooses you, or approves of you. Instead of chasing confidence through achievements, you’ll learn how to root it in something deeper: what already works about you.

If you’ve ever felt insecure in dating, compared yourself to others, or worried that you’re not enough, this episode will help you shift your mindset and reclaim your power.

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Do men change? I get asked this all the time . . . and the truth is more nuanced than the internet makes it sound. When I met my wife, I wasn’t looking for commitment. A couple of years later, we were engaged. So yes, change can happen. But not in the way most people think.

In this episode, I break down what actually inspires someone to grow, the mistakes that keep people stuck hoping, and the 3 things that can shift the direction of a relationship—if you’re with the right person. If you’re wondering whether to hold on or move on, this will give you clarity.

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Have you ever noticed the moment it happens?

You meet someone, you’re fine… and then suddenly you really like them and you start editing yourself. You become agreeable. Overly available. “Easy.” And it feels like you’re being kind… but something about it is quietly costing you.

In this episode, Matthew breaks down the switch that flips when someone becomes “important,” and why the urge to be extra nice is often just high-stakes fear in disguise. He explains how people-pleasing doesn’t create closeness: it creates blandness, resentment, and relationships where you can’t be yourself.

If you’ve ever felt yourself shrinking to keep someone, this episode is your reminder: real love requires you, not your performance.

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►► Every Friday, Matthew Hussey writes a personal letter to help you strengthen the three most important relationships in your life—with others, with yourself, and with life itself. Sign up for free at TheThreeRelationships.com

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