Ky and Martine are two DJs who went to the same elementary school. Martine says she doesn't think they were actually friends until second or third grade, when they did a cooking club together. They tried to make whipped cream from milk and it didn't work because you need heavy cream. Around age 12 or 13 they started riding the bus home together and sharing headphones, which is when Martine says the friendship really started.

Today, they both live in NYC and run a DJ collective together. They're both thirty now. In this episode, we talk through their friendship.

This episode is about the male loneliness epidemic. I know. I spent about a month talking to men about it and kept noticing the same thing: you can't approach it directly. You have to come at it sideways, usually as a joke, which is both the only way in and the reason no one gets very far.

What I kept seeing is that the joke is doing two things at once. It opens a door. But it also keeps that door from opening all the way. You can make it funny, you can build a whole podcast around the irony of the name, and still not quite arrive anywhere.

Lily Lady, and Maya are two escorts who are friends. I talk with them about the friendships that form when you speak the same language and what you see when you work alongside a friend. Then Jennifer Worley, author of Neon Girls, tells me about the women she met at the Lusty Lady, a San Francisco peep show where the dancers organized the first successful sex worker union in the US and then bought the place. The word that keeps coming up is civilians. As in, everyone else.

Ren found a friend application on Instagram at midnight, filled out all 40 questions, went to sleep at 2am, and a few weeks later got an email saying she'd been selected. Now she's back. In the first talk show episode, Lilly and Ren cover their friendship origin story, the experience of having a different personality in a second language, a karmic relationship that has not improved despite many talks, and two questions called in by listeners.

Lilly records from bed to share what happened after releasing the podcast. Her 93-year-old grandpa refuses the friend project t-shirt because he needs to keep certain people at the veteran's home at a distance, her uncle won't even wear it to sleep, and a family miscommunication spiral ensues. Plus, the New York Times features her flyers but doesn't bring more listeners (just cosmic validation), Lilly realizes the flyers and podcast are an ouroboros of connection, and she announces a new monthly call-in show where you can confess your friendship crimes or just say whatever. Also, she has way too many XL and XXL shirts.

Call (929) 454-5213 to leave a voicemail or submit at https://www.lillyfriendproject.com/friendship-submission.

#GrandpaKeepingPeopleAtADistance #UncleWontEvenSleepInIt #NYTimesButNoNewListeners #FlyersAreAnOuroboros #CallInWithYourFriendshipCrimes #TooManyXXLShirts #CosmicTapOnTheShoulder #TheShirtWasTooVulnerable

In the final episode, Lilly tries to answer the question she's been avoiding: what is connection? She calls random people including a poet, her mom, a barista, a therapist, a Vegas wedding chapel, and accidentally interviews mayoral candidate Brad Lander on election day. After seventy questionnaire responses and twenty-four interviews, Lilly reflects on whether she actually made friends or just performed an elaborate art piece around her own loneliness. Plus, a Rumi quote about patience that initially pissed her off starts to make sense.

#StillDontKnowWhatConnectionIs #VegasWeddingChapelWisdom #ElaboratePerformanceArtOrJustLonely #RumiWasRightAndItsPissingMeOff #FourHundredFlyersLaterStillFiguring

A mashup of the funniest and most memorable moments from all the interviews. Christian explains how he spent a year and a half in a band called The Roasters without knowing what they were roasting, Frances admits her personal brand is compulsive lying but in a fun way, and Thomas thought the whole thing might be Scientology but was ready to join anyway. Plus, someone found an apartment on Craigslist with no photos based purely on vibes, and multiple people reveal their alternate reality addictions ranging from bubble tea to minion porn.

#TheRoastersRoastedNothing #WhimsicalLyingNotDangerousLying #CraigslistVibesOnly #ScientologyButMakeItFriendship #MinionPornAlternateReality

Lilly meets three people who've found their place by standing apart. Lucas explains how American cities are designed to atomize people and shares his Forrest Gump walking moment, Marley discusses riot grrrl feminism and why she's not an ugly man respecter, and Erika reveals what it's like being the black sheep who moved out during the pandemic. Plus, Lucas dreams of goats in West Virginia, and everyone agrees that sometimes the clearest view comes from standing outside looking in.

#OutsiderLookingInward #RiotGrrrlPhilosophy #GoatsInWestVirginia #NotAnUglyManRespecter #AtomizedButNotAlone