License to Be Blonde
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This week, a Strand bookstore employee and a T-Mobile store representative maximize their joint slay. Patrick debates Coleman over cover letters (as if they're Coleman's fault) before they reminisce over the many haircuts they've subjected each other to. Sabrina Carpenter has the weapons. I was slated to be bisexual by god (didn’t happen). The Tumblrinas. Mortifying man bun anecdotes. We assumed the hair was going to make our apartment a log cabin. Do you remember the names of our imaginary dogs? You can’t show me that photo again. Guess who got their first mortgage?! The Manic Panic attacked me, my skin, and my self-esteem. Before you spend $250 to bleach your hair, I would see a therapist. Warmth toward bald men. Stop fighting against biology and holding onto an idea! Salads across the boardroom, babe.
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