Saturn Returns! Motherhood! Rage!

In this episode I sit down with writer, astrologer, and mystic Ayu Sutriasa for a raw conversation about Saturn returns, motherhood, identity collapse, creativity, and grounded spirituality.

Ayu shares her winding path with mysticism — growing up between cultures, spiritual lineages, and academic inquiry — and how studying mysticism through a critical, scholarly lens helped her dissolve binaries around “good vs bad,” spirituality vs politics, and transcendence vs embodiment.

Together, Leah and Ayu explore what it really means to live your spirituality in the material world, especially through the threshold experiences of Saturn return, postpartum identity shifts, and becoming responsible for your gifts.

Topics we cover:

• Postpartum depression, rage, and grief

• The identity death that comes with motherhood and Saturn return

• Reclaiming creativity after burnout, loss, or life upheaval

• Using astrology, ritual, and writing as survival tools

• Why responsibility can become agency — not a burden

• Reconnecting with your inner child as a creative muse

• Saturn Return astrology

If you’ve ever felt like you were walking through a void, shedding old versions of yourself, or trying to find solid ground after everything changed — this conversation will meet you there.

More about Ayu

Ayu Sutriasa is an archetypal astrologer, tarot reader, writer, and creative midwife. She works with creatives, artists, writers, and business owners to hone their vision, build self-trust, and actually finish their creative projects.

Combining her six years of magazine editing experience with her knowledge of astrology and mysticism, Ayu’s mission is to support her clients in reclaiming their creative genius and reimagining their relationship with possibility.

She’s known for her Creative Archetype reading, which is a total immersion into your kaleidoscopic creative energy using your natal chart and divination. When she’s not working, she’s hanging out with her 3 year-old, reading smutty fantasy books, or dancing to BTS.

Links for Ayu:

• Join Ayu on Jan. 22nd for a FREE writing workshop where you’ll learn how to turn your 2026 vision + goals into prophecy. Come as you are, channel your inner oracle, and connect with other visionary creatives. Reserve your spot here.

• Signature: Creative Archetype reading

• Website astralpathways.co

• Substack: Astral Pathways

• Podcast: Crybaby Mystic

• Instagram: @astralpathways

Links for Leah:

• Cosmic Style Alchemy

• Next Era Reading