Happy Halloween from two grown men who are absolutely terrified of scary movies.

Batman and Darth Vader stop by (briefly, the masks were hot and nobody could breathe), then BG and Cam get into the movies that scarred them for life: Paranormal Activity in theaters, a Sinister drive home that required a full worship playlist, The Ring ruining an episode of The Office, and the bombshell that one of us considers E.T. a horror movie. It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown was also submitted as a scary movie. It is not.

Then it gets spooky for real: Robert Johnson, the crossroads, the 27 Club, and a guitar supposedly built from the pews of a haunted church that turned up at a guitar shop in Vegas. Did a deal with the devil make it sound incredible? It did not.

If that guitar had been in Tone Locker, at least its cursed history would be on record. Catalog your gear, log its story, and buy, sell, or trade. Free on the App Store and Google Play, and at tonelocker.com.

Check your candy. Happy Halloween.

Your gear has a story. Keep it all in Tone Locker. Catalog your collection, track its history, and build a wishlist for whatever’s next at tonelocker.com.

Episode 4. A New Hope. Which, depending on who you ask, is either the best Star Wars or a hot take that needs to be addressed immediately. So naturally we spend the first ten minutes on Star Wars: the prequels, Scholastic Book Fair novelizations, and exactly what went wrong with the sequels. Then BG confesses he showed his college roommate the saga in chronological order, which means he spoiled the greatest reveal in cinema history. We’re not sure the show recovers.

Eventually we talk gear. The market’s slow, everybody wants to trade, nobody has cash, and we have to ask the real question: could I live in the Gibson? From there it’s $75 concert shirts, vintage tees with barbecue stains, and a can’t-miss business idea: we relic brand-new shoes and then nobody buys them.

Then the big one: does relicking a guitar actually add value? Murphy Lab, Nash, a ‘58 R8, and the best argument for relics yet: if there’s a ding, who’s to say Tom Murphy didn’t do it?

We also figure out which guitar brand each of us would be, trade a trumpet for a guitar, earn a recorder karate black belt, and book BG a two-hour residency at the Sphere playing Hot Cross Buns. Tickets are $10. The security lights will be on.

Gear of the Week: a Duesenberg Fullerton Elite on the Tone Locker app.

Want to see actual guitars? Head over to the Tone Locker app, where your tone has a history. tonelocker.com

Like, subscribe, and tell us in the comments: which order do you show someone Star Wars?

Your gear has a story. Keep it all in Tone Locker. Catalog your collection, track its history, and build a wishlist for whatever’s next at tonelocker.com.

We made it to episode three, which BG assures us is the new forty. Who would’ve thought? Not us.

This week, Cam and BG talk about guitars for almost a solid ten minutes before the wheels come off. We learn that a Dumble amp can cost as much as a house, that Amazon may or may not make guitar pedals (we checked live, and we still don’t know), and that The Edge plays with his pick upside down. We also try to name famous guitarists by tone alone, with mixed results and maximum confidence.

Then it gets really scholarly: Flea and his commitment to performing without pants, the Woodstock ‘99 documentary, and an Office tangent that should probably be its own podcast. We also spend an unreasonable amount of time staring at a phone trying to remember Huey Lewis’s name. (If you were yelling at the screen, you were right. We’re sorry.)

And then we figured out the business plan: write one good Christmas song, cash checks forever. If it worked for the “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer” guy, it can work for us. See you in December.

Your gear has a story. Keep it all in Tone Locker. Catalog your collection, track its history, and build a wishlist for whatever’s next at tonelocker.com.

This was supposed to be a guitar podcast. It still technically is. There’s a pedal named Big Chungus, so that counts.

Then someone mentioned John Mayer at the Sphere, and the gear talk was over. What followed is a full confession session. One of us sent money to a stranger on Facebook Marketplace and learned something about trust. One of us had BB King tickets in his cart and decided a nap was more important. Someone got turned away at the Cotton Bowl for not having a wristband his ticket never mentioned. And someone’s all-time favorite concert is Pitbull, and he will not be taking questions.

The lesson: go see your legends while you can, and buy your tickets from Ticketmaster like a normal person.

Catalog your gear, find your next GAS purchase, and track where your gear has been on Tone Locker: tonelocker.com

Your gear has a story. Keep it all in Tone Locker. Catalog your collection, track its history, and build a wishlist for whatever’s next at tonelocker.com.

Welcome to Not a Guitar Podcast. It's mostly about guitars. Except when it isn't.

In the pilot, Cam and BG argue about whether the studio screams "single divorce dad," BG gets put on the spot to build a pedalboard he's definitely getting clowned for in the comments, and we find out the hard way what you should not clean your fretboard with.

Somewhere in there is a pedal called the "Cenotar." We don't want to talk about it.

Got a dumb guitar mistake of your own? Drop it in the comments. We won't judge. Much.

And hey, if you've got gear, it's got a story: who had it before you, where it's been, what it's played. Tone Locker is where that story lives. Catalog your stuff, snoop on what everyone else is playing, and buy, sell or trade with the whole history attached. It's on the App Store. Go check it out.

Your gear has a story. Keep it all in Tone Locker. Catalog your collection, track its history, and build a wishlist for whatever’s next at tonelocker.com.