4:6 An IFS Look at Power Struggles: Captain, Lawyer, or Dictator? copertina

4:6 An IFS Look at Power Struggles: Captain, Lawyer, or Dictator?

4:6 An IFS Look at Power Struggles: Captain, Lawyer, or Dictator?

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In this episode, Susan connects Internal Family Systems to three modes she's taught for years: Captain, Lawyer, and Dictator. Using a real dinnertime example, she shows how a child's simple request can pull a parent from calm boundary-setting into defending themselves, and eventually into threats, once an old protective part takes over.

  • What Captain-mode language sounds like across homework, screens, bedtime, and chores.
  • How arguing (Lawyer mode) and threatening (Dictator mode) both come from protective parts trying to shield you from old pain.
  • How your child's simple "it's not fair" can be met without defending yourself or needing to win

Full transcript here

Eckhart Tolle's foreword to Parenting With Presence here.

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