Episode 35 | Mistakes, Missteps, And The Apology That Never Came
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Episode 35 | Mistakes, Missteps, And The Apology That Never Came
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My father never apologized for what he did to me as a child.
I spent a long time waiting for that apology. I thought I needed it. I thought that without it I couldn't move forward, couldn't feel whole, couldn't consider myself worthy of anything good. And then he died. Without saying it. Without taking responsibility for any of it.
And I had a choice to make.
This episode is about that choice — and about the question underneath it. Can there really be any mistakes or missteps, or are they misinterpretations of your potential to love yourself? Because everything you've done, including the things you're most ashamed of, is part of who you are right now. To condemn those things wholesale is to condemn yourself as you currently exist.
I'm not asking you to applaud what you've done. I'm asking you to consider whether burning yourself at the stake for it is actually serving you.
Recorded March 2023 at 10:26pm with whatever equipment I had on hand. Stream of consciousness. No edits. Real shit.