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How to Stop Fearing the Unknown

How to Stop Fearing the Unknown

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Fear of the unknown can make you want a guarantee before you take a single step. You try to be sure the plan will work, sure you won't fail, sure you'll be okay. But being sure doesn't exist, and chasing it keeps you anxious and stuck. In this episode, Russell shares how needing certainty became a habit, and what changes when you let go of it.

  • After a ten-year fertility journey, a positive pregnancy test didn't feel real until the heartbeat scan. Needing to be sure is a very human response.
  • The need for certainty is often a thinking habit learned in childhood, from trying to work out the rules to stay out of trouble.
  • Being sure has never been possible. Humans were once sure the Earth was flat and the sun went round it.
  • A plan is a best guess. It's useful, but if your wellbeing depends on it going exactly right, you'll end up disappointed or worried.
  • The tension between where you are and where you want to be is part of creating, not a sign that something's wrong.

The reframe: feeling safe doesn't come from knowing what happens next. It comes from trusting you'll be okay whatever happens. Then you only need the next step.

If you can't act until you're certain, this one's for you.

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