Because this podcast is called How to Be an Adult, and we take our promises seriously, you will never see us release an episode titled “How to Never Disappoint Others” or “How to Avoid Criticism.” In this episode, Luke Chao talks about how to disappoint others in a principled manner:

• Disappointment results from an internal mental mismatch between a person’s expectations and reality; it does not exist in the external world.
• Living an authentic life and pursuing creative or entrepreneurial goals inevitably leads to disappointing some people due to the diversity of opinions and values.
• It is impossible to be universally liked, and trying to avoid disappointing others often results in personal resentment, bitterness, or the betrayal of one’s own principles.
• Individuals should be the primary authority over their own lives, as they are best positioned to know their own constraints, needs, and capabilities.
• Saying ‘no’ to others does not require extensive justification or a watertight argument; a simple, direct refusal is sufficient to maintain personal boundaries.
• When facing disappointment, criticism or even anger from others, you should consider whether you have failed a moral principle; if you are acting in alignment with your personal values, it is not an error.
• The only person you truly cannot afford to disappoint is yourself, since you are the only individual you are guaranteed to live with for your entire life.

Table of Contents

0:00 – Introduction
4:27 – Adulthood Requires Disappointing Others Sometimes
13:06 – No Is a Complete Answer
21:03 – Stay True to Yourself
23:38 – Disappointment Does Not Harm Others
29:33 – Outro

Listen above, on Apple Podcasts or on Spotify, or watch the full video on YouTube. Remember to like, subscribe and share!

The post How to Disappoint Others (Ep. 39) appeared first on The Morpheus Clinic for Hypnosis.

“Just be yourself!” We’ve all heard this platitude, but without specific instruction in what it means, the advice is rather useless. In this solo episode, Luke breaks down how to be yourself, and six enemies of your authentic self:

• Being authentic as an adult means embracing your individuality rather than compromising your values, thoughts, or feelings to meet external standards or please others.
• Individuals like Rosa Parks, Einstein, and Gandhi are viewed as iconic because they trusted their own moral compass and inner judgment rather than conforming to the expectations of their time.
• The primary enemies of an authentic self include toxic shame, performative niceness (people-pleasing), fear of rejection, the pressure to conform, and getting caught in competitive status games.
• We consider people-pleasing to be passive-aggressive because it involves suppressing one’s true thoughts and feelings, which eventually erupts negatively.
• Status games are zero-sum competitions that fosters misery through constant social comparison; in contrast, living authentically is a positive-sum game where each person can thrive on their own unique path.
• Adults are encouraged to use their own intelligence to solve life problems by asking themselves well-formed, substantive questions instead of speculating on what others might think.
• Self-actualization, according to Abraham Maslow, is a lifelong journey that becomes possible once basic needs are met and one chooses to act with integrity and self-esteem.
• You are not an inferior version of anyone else, including parents or peers, nor their illusions fio you, and you are inherently lovable just as you are.

Table of Contents:

0:00 – Intro
1:18 – Parable of the tiger who was raised by wolves
2:38 – You are incomparable with other individuals
6:30 – Trust your own adult judgement
9:13 – Prompt engineer your brain
11:56 – Questions to ask yourself
13:51 – Enemies of your authentic self: Introduction
14:04 – Enemy #1: Toxic shame
17:59 – Enemy #2: Performative niceness
22:47 – Enemy #3: Fear of rejection or criticism
25:15 – Enemy #4: Conformity
26:06 – Enemy #5: Neediness
28:28 – Enemy #6: Taking the status game too seriously
33:11 – Abraham Maslow and self-actualization
42:55 – Outro

Listen above, on Apple Podcasts or on Spotify, or watch the full video on YouTube. Remember to like, subscribe and share!

The post How to “Be Yourself” (Ep. 38) appeared first on The Morpheus Clinic for Hypnosis.

If you’ve ever heard the clichéd phrase, “take care of yourself,” you might have been flummoxed about how, especially if your needs were unmet in early life. Yet, as Luke will argue in this episode, taking care of yourself is a defining feature of adulthood: at last, you have a capable guardian. We shall use Maslow’s hierarchy of needs as a framework:

• As adults, we serve as our own primary caregivers, responsible for meeting our own needs rather than relying on parents, partners, or employers.
• Taking care of oneself is a positive-sum game, analogous to the airline safety instruction to ‘put on your own mask first’ before assisting others.
• Neglecting self-care erases oneself from one’s own life, a behavior that must be unlearned to improve well-being and capability to support others.
• We use the hierarchy of needs framework by Abraham Maslow to categorize requirements from basic physiological needs to higher-level self-actualization.
• Setting clear boundaries through verbal communication is a modern method for ensuring personal safety and security.
• You are encouraged to examine inherited behaviors from your parents and intentionally choose to overcome generational neglect by prioritizing your own well-being and values.

Table of Contents:

0:00 – Introduction
2:01 – You Are Your Primary Caregiver
11:04 – Count Yourself In
13:43 – Self Care Is a Positive-Sum Game
18:10 – Introduction to Maslow’s Hierarchy
18:38 – Physiological Needs
19:09 – Safety and Security Needs
21:09 – Love and Belonging
21:57 – Respect and Esteem
22:25 – Self-actualization
27:09 – The Impact of Your Upbringing
30:41 – Outro

Listen above, on Apple Podcasts or on Spotify, or watch the full video on YouTube. Remember to like, subscribe and share!

The post How to “Take Care of Yourself” (Ep. 37) appeared first on The Morpheus Clinic for Hypnosis.