The holidays can crack you open in ways no other season can.

In this deeply real, in-the-moment episode of The Femme Cast, I press record the day after Christmas, during a snowfall, in the middle of layered grief, and without polishing the edges. This isn’t a retrospective. It’s a lived transmission.

I share what it’s been like moving through a year of profound endings: friendships that fell away, a relationship that ended, a job that slipped away, and the loss of my beloved dog Pippa, whose presence once shaped every celebration. Grief doesn’t arrive neatly. It lives in the body as fatigue, thirst, overwhelm, and sudden waves triggered by memories, smells, and quiet moments.

This episode is for anyone navigating grief during a season that demands cheer.

We explore what grief actually does to your nervous system and why you’re not failing if you need more rest, more water, simpler food, and fewer plans. I share practical, soul-led ways to care for yourself when capacity is low: shortening visits, saying no without explanation, letting go of performance, and allowing honesty to deepen connection instead of strain it.

But this conversation goes deeper than coping.

We move into emotional alchemy. Not as a way of bypassing pain, but as honoring it as an initiation. I share why grief is love with nowhere to land, and how rituals, memorials, memories, and creativity give that love a place to move. Instead of asking how to escape hard emotions, I ask a different question: What wants to be created through this?

This episode weaves visibility without performance, impact without force, and what it means to live soul-led when life dissolves what once defined you. You’re not broken. You’re moving through a portal. A portal where something powerful is being activated beneath the tenderness.

If your heart feels heavy, let this meet you there. Your grief is not a flaw, it’s a portal. Stay with yourself. Let the emotion move. There is infinite potential on the other side, and this is your invitation to step into it.

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