If life really is this short…why are you still spending yours on things you already know aren’t right for you?

That question became very different for Gen after losing her best friend, Sarah, to stage 4 breast cancer.

Sarah was 15 years sober.

An incredible wife. Mom. Friend. Human.

She did the work. She loved deeply. She built a beautiful life.

And she still didn't get unlimited time.

After Sarah died, Gen and her husband Ray looked at each other and essentially said:

What the hell are we doing with ours?

In this deeply personal episode of The Unapologetic Woman, Gen opens up about grief, sobriety, boundaries, relationships, motherhood, marriage—and the loss that permanently changed the way she thinks about where her time and energy go.

It also created a practice Gen and Ray still use today:

You get 10 energy tokens.

That's it.

And every day, you decide where they go.

Your marriage. Your kids. Your recovery. Your health. Your purpose. Your friendships.

Or…

Resentment.

Proving yourself.

Replaying a conversation for the 37th time.

Managing someone else's feelings.

Overexplaining.

Staying in relationships you've outgrown.

Saying yes because saying no feels uncomfortable.

And here's the part we don't talk about enough:

Every yes costs you something.

Sometimes the price isn't money.

Sometimes the price is the version of you your family gets when you finally come home.

Gen gets vulnerable about realizing she had become so generous with everyone else's needs that sometimes Ray and the kids were getting what was left of her—and what it meant when her husband finally told her, We don't want your leftovers.

This isn't an episode about becoming cold, cutting everybody off, or using grief as an excuse to stop caring.

It's about something much deeper:

You can love someone and have limits.
You can forgive and still change someone's access to you.
You can care deeply and still say no.

And maybe protecting your peace doesn't require becoming harder.

Maybe it requires finally understanding how precious your life actually is.

This conversation is for the woman in recovery who's realizing sobriety was only the beginning.

The mom who gives everyone else her best energy.

The leader or business owner pouring herself into everyone and everything.

The people-pleaser exhausted from maintaining relationships out of obligation.

The person grieving someone she loves.

And the woman who keeps telling herself she'll change things eventually.

Because eventually isn't promised.

Your life is happening while you're deciding whether you're allowed to live it.

So call the person.

Go to the game.

Take the picture.

Say no.

Say yes.

Put the damn phone down.

Tell the truth.

Come home to yourself.

🎧 Listen to this one when you need to remember that your time isn't something you have to earn the right to protect.

And send it to the woman you love who keeps giving her life away one tiny yes at a time.

If conversations about recovery, resilience, boundaries, leadership, grief, and building a life you don't need to escape from belong on your college campus, in your workplace, or inside your organization, Gen Stoney is available for speaking, workshops and consulting. The Speaking & Consulting Inquiry is in the show notes below.

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BRING GEN TO YOUR ORGANIZATION

Looking for a speaker, workshop, or consulting support for your college, workplace, organization, or community? Let’s start a conversation.

Speaking & Consulting Inquiry:
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LOOKING FOR PERSONAL SUPPORT?

If something in this episode hit home and you’re ready to get clear on what comes next, you can book a private conversation with me here.

Private Clarity Call:
https://calendly.com/genstoney/claritycall