Philsy's back from a five day influenza A knockout, and she brought news with her, she's pregnant, due New Year's Day, and yes the podcast is still happening through the birth because apparently pregnancy isn't a valid excuse to miss a recording. Meanwhile Han spent the week turning her house into an actual maximum security facility after Mabel let herself out the front door mid-meltdown and walked four blocks to a stranger's lawn convinced she'd been abandoned. There is now a very tall, very ugly lock on every external door, and Philsy already had one, which explains a lot.
The Weekly Spiral covers Erling Haaland bringing a $750 taxidermied raccoon through customs after the World Cup, Peppa Pig somehow starting actual beef with Charli XCX and Clairo, and an elderly UK man accidentally handing children paper hedgehogs made from erotic novel pages. Philsy brings The Hyperfix this week with a full royal family debrief, Charles, William, Kate, Andrew's arrest, and a fresh William versus Camilla feud, which sets up The SideQuest, Two Truths and a Tiara, where Han has to separate real royal history from things that just sound real.
Obsession of the Week has Han recommending the tall lock as a genuine lifestyle upgrade and Philsy recommending a parenting book that's already changing how she talks to Maggie. Then Chaos Correctional cleans up three things said with far too much confidence, including a wedding dress conspiracy that turned out to be half right.
Explicit, feral, occasionally educational and accidentally therapeutic.
See you next Tuesday. 💋
CHAOS CORRECTIONAL (FACT-CHECK CORNER)
Stick around after the outro for Chaos Correctional, where Han cleans up the confident nonsense we said on air with just enough research to be dangerous.
This week we correct:
Whether wedding dresses made from fecal matter are actually a thing
Whether the erotica hedgehogs were made from donated books
Whether Kate Middleton's hair situation through chemo makes any sense
LINKS & THINGS WE MENTIONED
🐰 Research Rabbit Hole
Erling Haaland's taxidermied "Whiskey Raccoon," Wild Bill's Western Store, Dallas
Peppa Pig's Pitchfork "Over/Under" interview beef with Charli XCX, Clairo and PinkPantheress
The paper hedgehog story, Wirral, Merseyside, made from pages of Nicholson Baker's The Fermata
👑 Royals Rabbit Hole
King Charles, Prince William, Kate Middleton (Princess of Wales), Prince George
Princess Anne, Sophie, Duchess of Edinburgh
Prince Andrew's arrest and the line of succession
Sarah Ferguson ("Fergie")
Meghan and Harry
Princess Diana, Prince Philip, Queen Elizabeth II
🌀Products We Spiralled About
Raising Girls Who Like Themselves (book, via Audible)
The tall external door lock (Bunnings or any hardware store)
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