I've been questioning the direction of this podcast for a while now, and I've decided to take my own advice and take a pause. I'm going to take a break for a few months to reassess, reconfigure and reorganize to make sure I'm maximizing my efforts and time and providing you with the value that you deserve. I've been flying by the seat of my pants for quite some time and that's not how I want to show up any longer. When I started this podcast I was neck deep in 12 step recovery, and I thought that was exactly what I'd be talking about here...think again! After leaving AA I didn't ever make a new plan, I threw the plans out the window and went with the topics that showed up in my daily life. I'm glad I did and was able to help some of you with my experience. "There once was a man who stood on the bank of a large lake, and had never been on the other side. He built a wood canoe so he could cross this enormous body of water. When he got to the other side, he hoisted the canoe on his shoulder and carried it around everywhere he went. His experience on the other side of the lake was mostly about keeping up with the canoe, and not the experience itself of discovering a new reality he had not known before...Make good use of any understanding, concept or tool...as it relates to the end of your suffering. Then you may discard it because it served its purpose. Do not be like the man who carried his canoe around on his back after the use of the canoe was no longer necessary." -These are notes from Over The Edge by Jim Palmer I found AA and 12 step recovery to be my canoe... The pause is a concept I learned about in AA. To take a beat to assess and give yourself time to respond rather than react on impulse. I'm overdue for a pause. I plan to return after summer with a new plan, resolve and message. Where could you use a pause in your life? You are so loved. #goodwords #goodwordspodcast #ramdass #spirituality #integration #thesoberbartender #podcast #soberbartender #recovery #wedorecover #sober #soberlife #multiplepathways #harmreduction #education #advocate #reducethestigma #recoveryfromlife #recoveryofself #recoverydharma #smartrecovery #12steps #soberpodcast #recoverypodcast #courseinmiracles #meditation #hangoverfree #quitdrinking #sobertravel #sobersummer #feelings #feelingsarentfacts #feelingishealing #youareenough #youarenotalone #youareloved #loveyourself #equanimity #acceptance #itiswhatitis #shift #optimism #perspectiveshift #perspective #createyourreality #free #overwhelmed #stress #copingmechanisms #peoplepleaser #honesty #success #innerpeace #drwaynedyer #lovingwhatis #byronkatie

Just before recording this I was praying for guidance and direction regarding our adoption journey. As I opened my eyes and went to record-my phone rang...it was the niece of a friend from the golf course who is an invaluable resource to have in our corner!! I cried tears of joy as she talked to me about who she is and what she does in the state of Texas! Is it odd...or is it God?? I think I know the answer to that! This week I'm taking a break from addressing challenges and issues to offer some of my favorite Good Words from Thich Nhat Hanh, Ram Dass, Wayne Dyer, Eckart Tolle, Rumi and Deepak Chopra. Just listen in and let their insight wash over you. Save your troubles for another day. Today, in this moment, join me in just being. You are so loved. #goodwords #goodwordspodcast #ramdass #spirituality #integration #thesoberbartender #podcast #soberbartender #recovery #wedorecover #sober #soberlife #multiplepathways #harmreduction #education #advocate #reducethestigma #recoveryfromlife #recoveryofself #recoverydharma #smartrecovery #12steps #soberpodcast #recoverypodcast #courseinmiracles #meditation #hangoverfree #quitdrinking #sobertravel #sobersummer #feelings #feelingsarentfacts #feelingishealing #youareenough #youarenotalone #youareloved #loveyourself #equanimity #acceptance #itiswhatitis #shift #optimism #perspectiveshift #perspective #createyourreality #free #overwhelmed #stress #copingmechanisms #peoplepleaser #honesty #success #innerpeace #drwaynedyer #lovingwhatis #byronkatie

I'm doing a series on topics given by YOU-the listener. Each week I'm answering a question or addressing an issue with Good Words. This week's question is "I'm not drinking right now, how do you go to things that are not your favorite or make you uncomfortable and not drink? What did you do when you first stopped and went to uncomfortable things that you already know you don't enjoy?" I can definitely answer this one! I offer a variety of coping strategies and techniques but what I really offer is the way out of the discomfort...spoiler alert-the only way out is through!! You've got to get comfortable feeling uncomfortable sometimes. You've got to be kind to yourself and know that it's not only okay, but normal to feel uncomfortable in some situations. Don't get caught up in the story that you shouldn't feel this way or that way, you do feel that way and your okay. You're safe. What's uncomfortable is avoiding the feeling or fighting reality. You are so loved. #goodwords #goodwordspodcast #ramdass #spirituality #integration #thesoberbartender #podcast #soberbartender #recovery #wedorecover #sober #soberlife #multiplepathways #harmreduction #education #advocate #reducethestigma #recoveryfromlife #recoveryofself #recoverydharma #smartrecovery #12steps #soberpodcast #recoverypodcast #courseinmiracles #meditation #hangoverfree #quitdrinking #sobertravel #sobersummer #feelings #feelingsarentfacts #feelingishealing #youareenough #youarenotalone #youareloved #loveyourself #equanimity #acceptance #itiswhatitis #shift #optimism #perspectiveshift #perspective #createyourreality #free #overwhelmed #stress #copingmechanisms #peoplepleaser #honesty #success #innerpeace #drwaynedyer #lovingwhatis #byronkatie

I recently asked you, the listener what your facing today, and what you'd like to hear discussed on the podcast. One dear listener wrote-How to accept and love the life you have when it's not how you imagined it. This is huge and I know I can totally relate!! If you would've asked 20 year old me to describe what my life could or should look like at 40...I wouldn't have been able to picture the life I'm living now. If you would've asked 35 year old me I still couldn't have pictured myself here. This episode isn't called How Did I Get Here, because we're not focusing on the past. We're talking about acceptance, which anyone who's had the pleasure of early sobriety knows a thing or two about. We're talking about gratitude. We're talking about inquiry and finding a way to make peace with reality. I feel good about this one. You are so loved.

The one that doesn't play into the dysfunction is targeted as the problem. -Teal Swan What is a scapegoat? A person who is blamed for the wrong doings, mistakes or faults of others, especially for reasons of convenience. They are the one that bears the blame for others and is the object of irrational hostility. They are portrayed in a negative light to others. They are painted as unlikeable and their character is consistently attacked. This is abuse. This is gaslighting. This is not your fault and it is not ok. You are so loved.

I recently asked for listener input for situations that you're struggling with and would like some help reframing. One woman reached out and shared: "How do I overcome embarrassing memories? I think about them in the middle of the night and then I'm up all night with anxiety." Why do we get embarrassed? The root cause seems that we're anticipating a negative evaluation from others. We think that the image of ourselves we'd like to portray has been undermined and that it creates a negative impression of who we are. We're worried they'll judge us based on that interaction-but in reality-we're judging ourselves worse that they ever could or would! Instead f trying to forget it, it may be helpful to accept it and even laugh at it. Talk to a trusted friend or relative who can help you see the humor in the situation. Remember that we all make mistakes and NO ONE thinks about us as much as we think about ourselves. What you're focusing on is in the past-focus forward. It's totally ok to visit past memories, they can be a compass and guide us in the direction we don't want to go. Just don't stay there! You can analyze the circumstances and see where you can redirect and make adjustments. You can even list 5 your top 5 cringe worthy memories then really as yourself-was it really that big of a deal? Was it the end of the world? So what if I did or said something silly? If you hurt yourself, someone else or altered relationships then this is an opportunity to self reflect and use it to alter your choices and actions, but if not-give yourself a great big break!! Do you allow yourself to make mistakes?? How would you think of or judge your child, best friend, sister if they did or said the same thing or something similar? Would it carry the same weight? Would it keep you up at night? It's time to set the past down, you're not headed there. In these moments give yourself the grace you'd give to a loved one and allow yourself to be human. If you need a reminder that we all do things we aren't proud of you can call and swap stories with me... Remember, these feelings are based on what you think other people are thinking about you. Repeat this mantra-I am who I think you think I am You are so loved.

In 2 months I'll be 40!! I can confirm that it's not as scary as I thought it would be, but I also thought I'd have it all figured out by now. I'm here to encourage you to embrace your aging while you're still here! It is a privelige to wake up everyday. Aging is an opportunity to be grateful for the things that haven't taken you out! In this episode I urge you to embrace your life, your age, and get busy living it to it's fullest-TODAY! One day we will all die. The things we worried about won't matter (for the most part). The excuses you had for not running toward your dreams like you were on fire won't have any relevance. So what's stopping you? Things that don't matter in the big picture. You are so loved.

Are you avoiding anything lately? How would you know if you were? Do you have a firm WHY in place and a clear vision of your purpose?...because I don't...I have recognized some pretty intense avoidance going on lately. I feel good then tune out, I'm making dinner, then grabbing my phone. Why do I call this avoidance? Because it happens in the calm moments that I normally use to connect with my higher self. To connect with what I'm doing. To feel deeply. As soon I saw this happening I sat quietly and I felt. What followed was burnout, overwhelm, exhaustion. Not so pleasant feeling were just below the surface of my distraction. Good news-I felt them, I let them in without pushing them away, and I know that eventually, they will pass. In this episode I unravel the EGO-but not like you've heard it before-as some evil, self-absorbed nuisance that we need to work to rid ourselves of. Let's think of our ego is an Earth Guide Only. Ego drives the human ship in many instances. Our appearance, our things, our wants and desires. These things are bad but they are limited to the flesh. That is not who you truly are. You are not your body. You are not something that can be touched. Not the YOU you. So recognizing the difference between which guidance system is driving and turning to the spirit over the physical can be achieved when we catch ourselves. You are so loved. #goodwords #goodwordspodcast #ramdass #spirituality #integration #thesoberbartender #podcast #soberbartender #recovery #wedorecover #sober #soberlife #multiplepathways #harmreduction #education #advocate #reducethestigma #recoveryfromlife #recoveryofself #recoverydharma #smartrecovery #12steps #soberpodcast #recoverypodcast #courseinmiracles #meditation #hangoverfree #quitdrinking #sobertravel #sobersummer #feelings #feelingsarentfacts #feelingishealing #youareenough #youarenotalone #youareloved #loveyourself #equanimity #acceptance #itiswhatitis #shift #optimism #perspectiveshift #perspective #createyourreality #free #overwhelmed #stress #copingmechanisms #peoplepleaser #honesty #success #innerpeace #drwaynedyer