GDDB 13 - Accountability - Nobody is going to make you do it, except you. Life, working out, how you talk to your kids, what you prioritize…

Don’t really have show notes for this one. Going off the cuff. It’s 04/24/2022 and i’m getting this podcast back up & running. I would apologize for the delay, but the only person i need to be sorry to is myself for putting it off this long. Can’t believe I let myself wait this long to get the next episode recorded…anyway.

Accountability: Only you can get yourself to do IT. Whatever it is. Don’t rely on anyone else for encouragement,

GDDB 012 - PART 3 - Why I Want To Be MORE Than My Father Was To Me

So first, I want to apologize. It has been a while, I lost steam during this series. I think part of it was or is emotional, and part of it was mental hurdles to actually talk about it.

This is difficult. More difficult than most of you can imagine. I mean...this changed my life, my view of life and made me even question myself (who I was, who I would end up being, how I can make sure that I don’t become the same person). This has irked me for the past almost eight or so years... A person that I thought I knew my entire life, completely changed and ruined my thoughts and feelings of who they are. Someone who helped teach me so many things in life, made me question everything that I learned from them…...my father.

• I have brought up some interesting topics the previous episodes, but this one...
• This episode right here will be my hardest episode yet.
• When creating this podcast, I knew I would have this episode...I didn’t know when then, but here we are now.
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• Ok..if you’re not driving doing something that you need to see to do…follow below, otherwise listen along.
• Close your eyes...take some deep breaths… Now, I want you to put yourself in your shoes as a kid. Imagine yourself growing up through elementary school. Now Middle School, and maybe even High School, and now think of who you thought of as your “hero”…
• You can open your eyes now.
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• What are the reasons you chose the person you did? Why did you consider them your hero?
• I know for me, growing up I always looked up to someone who taught me how to be the person that I have grown up to be. I think of who always was strong for our family. And I also think of who always took me to do things like camping, paintball, birthday parties and other “fun” events.
• Many times that person that you’re thinking of right now is your father.
• I know that's who I thought of growing up.
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• Let’s jump to present day real quick, then i’ll go back to the story and the “why” I want to be MORE than my father was to me.
• First off, I now refuse to call him “dad”. I refer to him only as my “father”.
• For me, there are different meanings for the word “dad” compared to the word “father”
• A dad can be a father, but to me a father is not always a dad
• To me, your father is blood. Your father has taught you things. A father is a technical term.
• A dad is someone who mentors you. A dad is someone you love & trust. A dad is a friend. A dad feels like someone you can lean on & rely on.
• Again, in my world and my mind a dad can be a father but a father is not always a dad.
• Next, I want to make it clear that I learned many things from him growing up and I appreciate that. Truly.
• And last, I am who I am today because of what my parents taught me. Things like: be a good person, work hard, tell the truth; and he was part of those teachings.
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• Now...back to the story:
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• So. Where this mindset all started: Almost eight years ago. 2013. The year my wife & I got married. Also the year that I found out my parents were getting a divorce...and I found out very shortly after the wedding.
• FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFuck. Me.
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• During this time, my father, the man who I had looked up to and was there for me throughout my entire childhood and into adulthood decided during this period of time to be everything he taught me not to be as a person.
• He was not the same person I grew up knowing.
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• He lied. He was rude. He talked to me like I was a 9yr old...

GDDB 011 - PART 2 - Connecting Back To Growing Up: What I learned and Who I want to Be

When I was growing up, my father was what I thought of as the “fun dad” and the go-to dad to get out of the house and go do things like camping, hiking, playing paintball, going to movies etc...

• I learned a lot from my father and my mother.
• I am still learning today, as an “adult”
• I think that we are who we are today because of how we were raised.

• From the day we are born, we are impacted by our parents on how we are going to develop and the type of person we are going to be.
• It doesn’t all happen that first day of life, but that is where it starts and then it evolves from there.
• The reason is the strong bond between child and parent. Even before a baby can open their eyes and look around, they are developing emotions and feelings.

• “The most two important days in your life are the day your born and the day you find out why” – Mark Twain

• I remember my childhood, and learning how I was going to be who I was.
• I remember my parents teaching me how to ‘act right’, be patient, have manners, be polite, have respect...all the things that are instilled into me today.

• I also think about the things that I wasn’t taught (or don’t remember specifically) that I want to make sure my daughters will know:
• How to cook (or I should say: enjoy cooking)
• How to handle money
• (Not that i wasn’ taught this, but i think it has been lost in the world today:) There are winners and losers. Not to be a sore loser, and not to be a bragging winner (too much). Either way you have to work harder next time to “win”.
• Doing things around the house (maintenance)
• How to work out

• My father was always considered the ‘fun’ dad, the dad that went and did everything with us, and the dad that always took me to do things.
• We would go camping, hiking, paintballing. My mom & dad came to all of my band events in middle school and high school. They were always parents that were ‘involved’ in what I was doing.
• I also want to be that kind of dad. I want my wife and I to support and be involved in our daughter’s events - no matter what they are.

• I want our daughters to remember that mom & dad were there. That we supported them, and that we taught them to volunteer and step-in as parents to help out the organizations that they wanted to be involved in.

• I think that comes from seeing what my parents did when I was growing up. The type of people that they were, and how they were there for me.

Stay tuned for episode 3....