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Episode 49: Dad, I Need to Talk to Mom

Sometimes there are moments in raising children when you can almost hear the words: “I really wish Mom was here for this.” For a widowed father, those moments can be especially difficult—because sometimes your child needs the parent who isn't there, and you have to figure out how to show up anyway.

In this deeply personal episode, Jamal and David talk about the conversations that can leave a father feeling completely out of his depth. From puberty, relationships, and growing into adulthood to mental health, identity, and the complicated questions that come with growing up, they explore what happens when your children bring you something they might naturally have taken to Mom.

They talk about the pressure fathers can feel to fill the space their wives left behind, the difference between listening and trying to fix everything, and the importance of building a trusted village around your children. Because you can't become the parent your child lost. But you can remain the parent who's still here—present, available, honest enough to say “I don't know,” and willing to find someone who does.

Don't disappear because you're uncomfortable. Show up.

Getting Back Up: Finding Life After Death is a podcast that explores the raw, unfiltered reality of surviving profound personal loss—and finding a way forward. The idea for the podcast was born after David and Jamal met in 2023. Both widowers, who had lost their wives to cancer, quickly found a deep connection through multiple conversations about pain, perseverance, and parenthood. They realized that while men often bond over music, sports, or TV, they rarely speak candidly about loss or emotional recovery. Getting Back Up was created to change that narrative—blending the everyday with the existential in a format that’s as relatable as it is real.

Getting knocked down is part of life. Getting back up is how we live.

Hosts: David McClain & Jamal Jones
Executive Director: Marlon Jackson
Editing: Marlon Jackson
Music:
Grenada, "Treasure"
McDonald, Otis, "Phife for Life", otismusic.com

Thank you for listening! Follow us on Instagram/TikTok @getbackuppodcast and on X @GBUpodcast

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Episode 48: Nobody Knows What to Do With the Empty Chair

When your spouse dies, your family doesn't simply become the same family minus one person. The entire family changes.

In this episode, Jamal and David explore the roles their wives occupied that became even more visible after they were gone. Mother. Wife. Daughter. Sister. Friend. Family connector. Tradition keeper. The person who remembered the birthdays, managed certain conversations with the kids, maintained relationships, or simply brought a presence to the family that no one else could replicate.

They talk about the pressure widowers can feel to fill every role, the people who unexpectedly step forward to help, and the traditions and relationships that inevitably change after loss. Most importantly, they confront a difficult truth: you can't replace the person who sat in that empty chair—and you don't have to. The work is learning how to care for the family that's still here while honoring the space of the person who isn't.

"Maybe the goal isn't filling the empty chair. Maybe the chair stays empty, but everybody around it learns a new way of being together."

Getting Back Up: Finding Life After Death is a podcast that explores the raw, unfiltered reality of surviving profound personal loss—and finding a way forward. The idea for the podcast was born after David and Jamal met in 2023. Both widowers, who had lost their wives to cancer, quickly found a deep connection through multiple conversations about pain, perseverance, and parenthood. They realized that while men often bond over music, sports, or TV, they rarely speak candidly about loss or emotional recovery. Getting Back Up was created to change that narrative—blending the everyday with the existential in a format that’s as relatable as it is real.

Getting knocked down is part of life. Getting back up is how we live.

Hosts: David McClain & Jamal Jones
Executive Director: Marlon Jackson
Editing: Marlon Jackson
Music:
Grenada, "Treasure"
McDonald, Otis, "Phife for Life", otismusic.com

Thank you for listening! Follow us on Instagram/TikTok @getbackuppodcast and on X @GBUpodcast

Send us Fan Mail

Episode 47: The Signs You’re Healing (Even If It Doesn’t Feel Like It)

Healing after loss rarely announces itself. There’s usually no big breakthrough or morning when you wake up and suddenly feel “better.” More often, it shows up quietly—in the first laugh that doesn’t bring guilt, making plans months into the future, sleeping a little better, enjoying time with your kids, or realizing grief wasn’t the first thing on your mind that morning.

In this episode, Jamal and David reflect on the small, sometimes overlooked signs that showed them life was beginning to return. They talk about the temptation to measure healing by whether you still hurt, why difficult days don’t erase progress, and how easy it is to miss how far you’ve come when you’re focused on what’s still missing. Healing doesn’t mean the grief disappears. Sometimes it simply means your life has slowly started expanding around it.

“What if healing isn’t the absence of grief? What if it’s the return of life?”

Getting Back Up: Finding Life After Death is a podcast that explores the raw, unfiltered reality of surviving profound personal loss—and finding a way forward. The idea for the podcast was born after David and Jamal met in 2023. Both widowers, who had lost their wives to cancer, quickly found a deep connection through multiple conversations about pain, perseverance, and parenthood. They realized that while men often bond over music, sports, or TV, they rarely speak candidly about loss or emotional recovery. Getting Back Up was created to change that narrative—blending the everyday with the existential in a format that’s as relatable as it is real.

Getting knocked down is part of life. Getting back up is how we live.

Hosts: David McClain & Jamal Jones
Executive Director: Marlon Jackson
Editing: Marlon Jackson
Music:
Grenada, "Treasure"
McDonald, Otis, "Phife for Life", otismusic.com

Thank you for listening! Follow us on Instagram/TikTok @getbackuppodcast and on X @GBUpodcast

Send us Fan Mail

Episode 46: The Man I Never Expected to Become

Loss changes us. That's unavoidable. But every so often, if we're paying attention, we realize grief hasn't only taken something away—it has quietly shaped us into someone we never expected to become.

In this episode, Jamal and David reflect on how life after loss has transformed them as fathers, husbands, leaders, friends, and men. From becoming more emotionally available and intentional, to discovering new purpose through Getting Back Up, therapy, service, and supporting other widowers, they explore the unexpected ways grief has refined their character. They also acknowledge the tension that comes with growth—the guilt of moving forward, the fear of leaving your old identity behind, and the realization that becoming stronger doesn't mean you've loved your spouse any less.

Together, they challenge listeners to ask a different question. Instead of focusing only on "What have I lost?" they invite us to consider "Who am I becoming?" Because healing isn't about becoming the person you were before loss. It's about discovering the person you're capable of becoming because of it.

Getting Back Up: Finding Life After Death is a podcast that explores the raw, unfiltered reality of surviving profound personal loss—and finding a way forward. The idea for the podcast was born after David and Jamal met in 2023. Both widowers, who had lost their wives to cancer, quickly found a deep connection through multiple conversations about pain, perseverance, and parenthood. They realized that while men often bond over music, sports, or TV, they rarely speak candidly about loss or emotional recovery. Getting Back Up was created to change that narrative—blending the everyday with the existential in a format that’s as relatable as it is real.

Getting knocked down is part of life. Getting back up is how we live.

Hosts: David McClain & Jamal Jones
Executive Director: Marlon Jackson
Editing: Marlon Jackson
Music:
Grenada, "Treasure"
McDonald, Otis, "Phife for Life", otismusic.com

Hosts: David McClain & Jamal Jones
Executive Director: Marlon Jackson
Editing: Marlon Jackson
Music:
Grenada, "Treasure"
McDonald, Otis, "Phife for Life", otismusic.com

Thank you for listening! Follow us on Instagram/TikTok @getbackuppodcast and on X @GBUpodcast

Send us Fan Mail

Episode 45: The Lasts We Never Saw Coming

Some of the hardest moments after losing a spouse aren't the anniversaries we prepare for. They're the milestones we never realized would become "lasts."
In this episode, Jamal and David reflect on the quiet grief that can surface as children grow up and life keeps moving forward. An eighth-grade graduation. A final middle school concert. A birthday. A driver's license. A family vacation. Moments filled with pride and celebration that are suddenly accompanied by the realization that someone who should have been there is missing.

Together, they explore why grief often resurfaces during life's happiest occasions, how joy and sadness can coexist without competing, and why acknowledging your spouse's absence doesn't diminish the celebration—it deepens the love that continues to shape your family. Because every milestone is more than a reminder of what's been lost. It's also a reminder of the life and love that still live on.

Getting Back Up: Finding Life After Death is a podcast that explores the raw, unfiltered reality of surviving profound personal loss—and finding a way forward. The idea for the podcast was born after David and Jamal met in 2023. Both widowers, who had lost their wives to cancer, quickly found a deep connection through multiple conversations about pain, perseverance, and parenthood. They realized that while men often bond over music, sports, or TV, they rarely speak candidly about loss or emotional recovery. Getting Back Up was created to change that narrative—blending the everyday with the existential in a format that’s as relatable as it is real.

Getting knocked down is part of life. Getting back up is how we live.

Hosts: David McClain & Jamal Jones
Executive Director: Marlon Jackson
Editing: Marlon Jackson
Music:
Grenada, "Treasure"
McDonald, Otis, "Phife for Life", otismusic.com

Thank you for listening! Follow us on Instagram/TikTok @getbackuppodcast and on X @GBUpodcast

Send us Fan Mail

Episode 44: Grieving a Future After Loss

Grief isn't only about losing the person you loved. Sometimes it's about losing the future you spent years imagining together.

In this episode, Jamal and David explore one of the least talked about dimensions of grief: mourning the life that never got the chance to happen. Retirement together. Watching your children become adults. College acceptance letters. Weddings. Grandchildren. Growing old side by side. They reflect on how each new milestone can quietly remind you that someone who was supposed to be there is missing.

Together, they discuss why grieving unrealized dreams is every bit as real as grieving memories, how comparison can keep you trapped in the life you thought you were supposed to have, and why allowing yourself to dream again isn't replacing your spouse—it's honoring the life that still remains. Because healing doesn't ask you to forget the future you lost. It simply invites you to believe another meaningful future is still possible.

Getting Back Up: Finding Life After Death is a podcast that explores the raw, unfiltered reality of surviving profound personal loss—and finding a way forward. The idea for the podcast was born after David and Jamal met in 2023. Both widowers, who had lost their wives to cancer, quickly found a deep connection through multiple conversations about pain, perseverance, and parenthood. They realized that while men often bond over music, sports, or TV, they rarely speak candidly about loss or emotional recovery. Getting Back Up was created to change that narrative—blending the everyday with the existential in a format that’s as relatable as it is real.

Getting knocked down is part of life. Getting back up is how we live.

Hosts: David McClain & Jamal Jones
Executive Director: Marlon Jackson
Editing: Marlon Jackson
Music:
Grenada, "Treasure"
McDonald, Otis, "Phife for Life", otismusic.com

Thank you for listening! Follow us on Instagram/TikTok @getbackuppodcast and on X @GBUpodcast

Send us Fan Mail

Episode 43: What If I Forget Her?

One of the fears many widowers carry isn't losing a memory—it's losing the connection behind it.

In this episode, Jamal and David tackle a question that often goes unspoken: What if I forget her? They share the moments that stop you in your tracks—the conversation you can't quite place, the sound of her voice that's harder to recall, the story whose details have become fuzzy with time. They discuss the pressure many grieving spouses feel to preserve every memory, every photo, every keepsake, as if forgetting a detail somehow means losing the person.

Together, they explore how memories naturally evolve, why children often become memory keepers too, and how some moments unexpectedly grow stronger while others fade. Most importantly, they challenge the belief that memory and love are the same thing. Because while memories may change over time, the impact of the people we loved continues to shape who we are.

Getting Back Up: Finding Life After Death is a podcast that explores the raw, unfiltered reality of surviving profound personal loss—and finding a way forward. The idea for the podcast was born after David and Jamal met in 2023. Both widowers, who had lost their wives to cancer, quickly found a deep connection through multiple conversations about pain, perseverance, and parenthood. They realized that while men often bond over music, sports, or TV, they rarely speak candidly about loss or emotional recovery. Getting Back Up was created to change that narrative—blending the everyday with the existential in a format that’s as relatable as it is real.

Getting knocked down is part of life. Getting back up is how we live.

Hosts: David McClain & Jamal Jones
Executive Director: Marlon Jackson
Editing: Marlon Jackson
Music:
Grenada, "Treasure"
McDonald, Otis, "Phife for Life", otismusic.com

Thank you for listening! Follow us on Instagram/TikTok @getbackuppodcast and on X @GBUpodcast

Send us Fan Mail

Episode 42: I’m Tired of Being Strong (What everyone sees after loss)

For many widowers, strength becomes a role they never asked to play. You keep showing up. You take care of the kids. You pay the bills. You go to work. You handle the responsibilities. And somewhere along the way, people start telling you how strong you are. But what happens when you're exhausted?

In this episode, Jamal and David talk openly about strength fatigue—the emotional, mental, and physical exhaustion that can come from carrying grief, responsibility, and expectations for far too long. They share personal experiences of functioning while depleted, feeling pressure to hold everything together, and struggling to ask for help even when they desperately needed it.

Together, they explore the difference between resilience and suppression, why burnout can quietly disguise itself as strength, and how rest, vulnerability, therapy, and trusted relationships can become part of the healing process. Because sometimes the strongest thing a man can do isn't carry more—it's finally putting some of the weight down.

Getting Back Up: Finding Life After Death is a podcast that explores the raw, unfiltered reality of surviving profound personal loss—and finding a way forward. The idea for the podcast was born after David and Jamal met in 2023. Both widowers, who had lost their wives to cancer, quickly found a deep connection through multiple conversations about pain, perseverance, and parenthood. They realized that while men often bond over music, sports, or TV, they rarely speak candidly about loss or emotional recovery. Getting Back Up was created to change that narrative—blending the everyday with the existential in a format that’s as relatable as it is real.

Getting knocked down is part of life. Getting back up is how we live.

Hosts: David McClain & Jamal Jones
Executive Director: Marlon Jackson
Editing: Marlon Jackson
Music:
Grenada, "Treasure"
McDonald, Otis, "Phife for Life", otismusic.com

Thank you for listening! Follow us on Instagram/TikTok @getbackuppodcast and on X @GBUpodcast