In this episode I sit down with Adam Novak, Funeral Director at Jerusalem Memorial Chapels, about making funerals less of a crisis and more of a plan. Adam explains his shift from Wall Street to funeral work, NY-specific rules like narrow Jewish plots and no chairs at cemeteries, and how NY’s FDIC-insured Preplan trust protects families. The conversation covers why only ∼35% of people pre-plan, how personalization eases grief, and how prepaying a funeral can also be a Medicaid spend-down with no lookback. Bottom line: funerals are for the living, so decide early.

Key Timestamps

00:00 – Intro : Compassion over stigma. “It’s how you do it.”

02:26 – Adam’s story : Equity trader to funeral director after 2008.

07:47 – NY rules : No handles, no chairs/tents at many Jewish cemeteries.

16:52 – Preplan benefit : Lock in today’s price, years ahead.

19:40 – Preplan benefit : No rush + you choose, not your kids.

23:42 – Reality check : Only ∼35% of funerals are pre-planned.

25:23 – NY Preplan 101 : Account in your name, funeral home paid only after service.

29:59 – Guaranteed plans : Funeral home absorbs cemetery cost increases.

34:08 – Personalization : Jersey funerals, signed caskets, flower posters + turtles.

39:58 – Flexibility : “There is no has to be.”

47:07 – Avoided talk : A will is not a funeral plan.

55:16 – Do this now : Ask parents about life stories and regrets.

01:02:07 – Biggest myth : Funerals don’t have to be in a funeral home.

01:11:27 – Medicaid tip : Irrevocable prepay = approved spend-down, no lookback.

Key Takeaways

1. Pre-plan to protect your family : Locking in prices now avoids stress, rushed decisions, and surprise costs during NY’s long probate. You decide calmly, not your kids in crisis.

2. NY keeps you in control : Preplan funds go into an FDIC-insured trust in your name. The funeral home only gets paid after the service, and you can get it back anytime until it’s used.

3. Make it personal, not rigid : Services should fit the person. Jerseys, signed caskets, or digital tributes help families grieve. There’s no “has to be” way to do it.

4. Talk now, not later : A will won’t cover funeral wishes and isn’t read until after burial. Ask about life stories and preferences while you still can.

5. Prepay can help with Medicaid : In NY, an irrevocable prepay contract has no lookback and counts as an approved spend-down. You’ll need a funeral director and attorney to set it up.

Resources

- Jerusalem Memorial Chapels :

• http://JMChapels.com

• (516) 418-7000

- Learn about Leave The Key Homebuyers Senior Transition Service:

• Website: https://leavethekey.com/seniors

• Phone Number: (631) 388 - 7771

Final Thought

Most people avoid funeral conversations because they feel morbid or uncomfortable, but waiting until a crisis is what makes it brutal. Pre-planning isn’t about death, it’s about protecting the people you love while you’re calm and clear-headed. Locking in costs prevents financial stress during probate. Writing down wishes stops family arguments. Recording stories preserves legacies before they’re lost. And in New York, doing it through a state-regulated trust means you stay in control of the money. Whether you choose a simple service, a signed casket, or just a conversation at the kitchen table, the goal is the same: remove the scramble so your family can grieve. Do it now, while there’s time to choose, not after there’s only pressure.