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What if the reason your relationship feels stuck… isn’t because of them but because of what you’re carrying?

In this episode of Manders Mindset, host Amanda Russo sits down with marriage and mindset expert Larry Bilotta for a powerful conversation about emotional patterns, childhood programming, and why it only takes one person to begin healing a relationship. After spending 27 years in what he calls “a marriage made in hell,” Larry shares the internal shift that transformed everything, not by changing his wife, but by changing himself.

Together, Amanda and Larry unpack how unseen emotional “energy” shapes relationships, why fear quietly drives so many decisions, and how moving from fear to love can radically shift not just a marriage but every area of life. Expect bold analogies, deep self-reflection, and practical mindset tools that challenge the way you think about conflict, identity, and emotional responsibility.

Because sometimes the breakthrough isn’t fixing what’s wrong…
It’s choosing a different energy entirely.

💡 In this episode, listeners will learn:

🚂 Larry’s “Energy Train” concept and how emotions silently transfer between partners
💔 Why 27 years of struggle became the foundation for transformation
🧠 How childhood programming (“chaos kids”) impacts adult relationships
⚖️ The difference between soft-hearted vs. hard-natured personalities
📝 The 25 Fear Words vs. 25 Love Words exercise and how it rewires decision-making
🐀 The “Cruise Ship & Rat” analogy for the inner critic and unresolved pain
👨‍👩‍👧 Clear definitions of a “real” dad, mom, husband, and wife and why clarity matters
❤️ Why shifting from “What’s wrong?” to “How can I help?” changes everything

⏰ Timeline Summary

[4:30] Childhood roots
[10:40] “Stay married and miserable” the subconscious programming that kept them stuck
[16:40] The “Energy Train” explained: how mood, attitude, and emotion transfer between partners (even when hidden)
[27:30] Soft-hearted vs. hard-natured personalities & the “flag page” framework (fun/peace/control/perfect)
[34:50] The Fear vs. Love word list exercise... choosing a different emotional world to live in
[45:40] Real dad / real mom / real husband / real wife definitions

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📸 Instagram: @thebreathinggoddess

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