Why are fantasy stories written by women treated like guilty pleasures while male-centered fantasy is praised as genius world-building? In this episode of Fed Up, But Figuring It Out, we dive into the double standards surrounding romance, fantasy, and “women’s literature.”

From Harry Potter and Percy Jackson to Throne of Glass, this episode explores how the stories we grow up with shape empathy, emotional literacy, and whose perspectives are considered “universal.” We unpack why women’s fantasy is so often dismissed as “porn,” while violent or sexually explicit male fantasy rarely faces the same criticism.

This conversation also examines the neuroscience and cultural impact of porn versus romance novels, the role of emotional intimacy in women’s storytelling, the patriarchy present in reading culture, and why reading female perspectives matters for everyone, not just women.

Drawing on feminist thought, reading statistics, BookTok culture, and personal reflections as an avid fantasy reader, this episode asks a bigger question: what does it say about our society when stories centered on women’s emotions, safety, and desire are mocked instead of respected?

Sources:

Carroll, J. (2023, April 18). Porn Gap: Difference in men and women pornography patterns. Wheatley Institute. https://wheatley.byu.edu/family/porn-gap-difference-in-men-and-women-pornography-patterns

Iyengar, S. (2025, January). The Men-Women Split in Reading is Real—and Persists Amid Historical Rate Declines. National Endowment for the Arts. https://www.arts.gov/stories/blog/2025/men-women-split-reading-real-and-persists-amid-historical-rate-declines

Snitow, A. B. (1994). Mass Market Romance: Pornography for Women Is Different. In Living With Contradictions (1st ed.). Chapter, Routledge.

Tylka, T. L. (2015). No harm in looking, right? Men’s pornography consumption, body image, and well-being. Psychology of Men & Masculinity, 16(1), 97–107. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0035774

Why do queer love stories on screen feel more emotional, more authentic, and sometimes even more powerful, regardless of your identity?

In this episode of Fed Up, But Figuring It Out, we unpack the cultural, political, and emotional weight behind queer romance in media. From decades of tragic storytelling to the recent rise of soft, joyful representation, queer love has been shaped by resistance, vulnerability, and choice in ways that challenge traditional narratives of romance.

We explore how heteronormative scripts have flattened straight relationships on screen, why audiences, queer or not, are drawn to stories that feel intentional, and how representation impacts not just visibility, but emotional depth. This isn’t about saying queer love is “better”, it’s about understanding why it often feels more real.

This episode dives into media, culture, identity, and storytelling to ask a bigger question: what does the portrayal of love on screen say about power, norms, and who gets to be seen?

Sources:

Castellano, R. (2025, September 15). Why authenticity is the secret to stronger relationships. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-humanistic-explorer/202509/why-authenticity-is-the-secret-to-stronger-relationships

Maimann , K. (2025, December 21). Why are women so into the man-on-man romance in heated rivalry?. CBC news. https://www.cbc.ca/news/entertainment/heated-rivalry-fandom-women-9.7020182

Queer Love and the rewriting of romantic norms. Daniel Dashnaw. (2025, March 21). https://danieldashnawcouplestherapy.com/blog/queer-love-and-the-rewriting-of-romantic-norms

Feminism isn’t anti-men, it’s anti-inequality. This episode unpacks the myths, the backlash, and the real meaning behind the movement.

If you’ve ever questioned feminism, felt defensive in these conversations, or just want a clearer, more honest understanding of gender equality, this episode is for you.

Sources:

Elsesser, K. (2023). Feminists don’t hate men, according to New Research. Forbes. https://www.forbes.com/sites/kimelsesser/2023/11/27/feminists-dont-hate-men-according-to-new-research/

Feminism is for everybody. (2019). The Lancet, 393(10171).

Haysley, K. (2025). a classic Julia Sugarbaker moment, portrayed by icon, #Dixie Carter. #designingwomen #1980stv. Instagram. https://www.instagram.com/p/DPpk8aokWIN/

Hedges, T. (2024). Reclaiming misandry from misogynistic rhetoric. Feminist Review, 136(1), 84–99. https://doi.org/10.1177/01417789231223202

Hopkins-Doyle, A., Petterson, A. L., Leach, S., Zibell, H., Chobthamkit, P., Binti Abdul Rahim, S., Blake, J., Bosco, C., Cherrie-Rees, K., Beadle, A., Cock, V., Greer, H., Jankowska, A., Macdonald, K., Scott English, A., Wai Lan YEUNG, V., Asano, R., Beattie, P., Bernardo, A. B., … Sutton, R. M. (2023). The misandry myth: An inaccurate stereotype about feminists’ attitudes toward men. Psychology of Women Quarterly, 48(1), 8–37. https://doi.org/10.1177/03616843231202708

New study debunks myth that feminists hate men. University of Surrey. (2023). https://www.surrey.ac.uk/news/new-study-debunks-myth-feminists-hate-men

Prince, V. (2025). “Why don’t you trust men?” Instagram. https://www.instagram.com/p/DOxTHkqDt5g/