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Fear is something every child, teen, and adult experiences — but it doesn’t always look the way we expect.

In this episode, we explore why fear exists, how it shows up in kids (often disguised as anger, anxiety, avoidance, or physical symptoms), and how parents, teachers, and schools can respond in ways that actually help.

Using brain-based research, Kim and Jake break down what’s happening in the nervous system when kids are scared — and why saying “you’re fine” often makes things worse.

This episode is especially important for parents of neurodiverse kids, who may experience fear more intensely and be misunderstood at home or at school.

🧠 What You’ll Learn in This Episode

• Why the brain is wired for fear — and why it reacts before logic kicks in
• How fear can be misread as anger, defiance, anxiety, or shutdown
• Why dismissing fear increases distress (and what to say instead)
• What “name it to tame it” really means in the brain
• How fear creates real physical symptoms like stomachaches, headaches, shaking, and rapid heart rate
• The role of adrenaline and cortisol in stress and fear responses
• Why fear can hit neurodiverse kids harder and last longer
• How fear shows up during the school day — and why many kids melt down after school
• Practical tools kids can use at school to manage fear
• What teachers and administrators can do to support fearful or anxious students
• The difference between healthy fear and fear that starts running the show
• How parents can model brave, regulated responses to fear

🧩 Key Takeaways for Parents & Educators

• Fear is information — not a flaw
• A dysregulated brain cannot learn
• Validation calms the nervous system; dismissal escalates it
• Avoidance reduces fear short-term but strengthens it long-term
• Regulation comes before reasoning
• Supporting fear does not mean lowering expectations — it means removing barriers to learning and growth

🎒 Tools Kids Can Use at School

• Naming fear internally: “I’m uncomfortable, not unsafe”
• Slow breathing and grounding through the body
• Muscle tightening and releasing
• Identifying a trusted “safe adult”
• Using visual schedules and predictability

🏫 What Helps in the Classroom

• Calm, private redirection instead of public correction
• Predictable routines and clear expectations
• Offering choices rather than ultimatums
• Sensory or movement breaks
• Trauma-informed, neurodiversity-affirming practices

🔬 Research & Science Referenced

• Joseph LeDoux – Fear, the amygdala, and threat circuitry
• Daniel J. Siegel – “Name it to tame it” and nervous system regulation
• National Institute of Mental Health – Fear, anxiety, and physical stress responses
• American Academy of Pediatrics – Child mental health and trauma-informed care
• Centers for Disease Control and Prevention – Stress, regulation, and learning outcomes
• American Psychological Association – Avoidance, anxiety, and exposure-based approaches

💬 Connect With Us

• Website: https://www.themothersonpodcast.com
  
  
• Instagram: @themothersonpodcast
• Use the “Send Us a Text” link in the show notes — we love hearing from you!

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