FREE BALLING FOR BETTER SLEEP
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Kevin's birthday celebration starts with grown men debating whether husbands deserve to feel pretty, somehow leads to free-balling as a sleep aid, and eventually uncovers the dangerous world of pink noise, brown noise and adults who have known someone far too long to ask their name anymore. Pasted text Pasted text Pasted text Florida Man tries unloading peyote on Facebook Marketplace, Kevin wonders whether he's giving both daughters enough attention as youth sports slowly takes over family life, and a childhood-snack ranking turns Gushers way more sexual than General Mills probably intended. Pasted text Pasted text Pasted text Then four Cutwaters deep and minutes from turning 44, Kevin declares war on Walmart pickup carts for destroying the carefully planned grocery-shopping operation he apparently approaches like a military assault. Pasted text Pasted text