What Is Shaping Your Marriage? Lessons from Psalm 1 — God Wants You to Thrive

What is shaping your marriage? Whether you realize it or not, something is influencing the way you think about marriage, treat your spouse, handle conflict, and make decisions. The question is, are those influences drawing you closer to God's design or pulling you further away?

In this episode of the Expedition Marriage Podcast, we're kicking off a four-part series through the Psalms, beginning with Psalm 1. Although this psalm wasn't written specifically about marriage, its wisdom has powerful implications for how we live as husbands and wives.

Psalm 1 presents two very different ways of living: one rooted in God's truth and the other shaped by worldly influences. Through the imagery of walking, standing, and sitting, we explore how easily we can drift into unhealthy patterns without even realizing it.

We'll also unpack what it means to delight in God's Word rather than simply follow it out of obligation, how biblical meditation transforms everyday life, and why God desires something greater than a marriage that merely survives.

In this episode, you'll discover:

• How social media, entertainment, family patterns, and cultural messages can shape your marriage.
• What Psalm 1 teaches about the gradual progression of spiritual drift.
• The difference between simply obeying God's Word and genuinely delighting in it.
• How to practice biblical meditation and apply Scripture to your relationship.
• Why a marriage rooted in Christ can remain fruitful even through difficult seasons.
• How your marriage can leave a godly legacy for future generations.

God doesn't want your marriage to simply exist. He wants you to grow in Him, bear fruit, and experience the life that comes from being rooted in His truth.

Join us as we consider whose counsel we're following and what it looks like to build a marriage that is deeply rooted, spiritually fruitful, and guided by the Lord.

Scripture: Psalm 1

Resources Mentioned:

The Family You Came From — Discover how the patterns you learned growing up may still be influencing your marriage. This Scripture-based guide includes a self-assessment, guided couples conversation, and seven-day walkthrough.

https://expeditionmarriage.org/podcast/ep-201-what-is-shaping-your-marriage-god-wants-you-to-thrive-in-your-marriage-lessons-from-psalm-1

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Questions to Discuss Together:

1. What is the loudest voice shaping our marriage right now, and is it the Word of God?
2. Are we following God's Word or delighting in it? What would that difference look like for us?
3. What would it look like for our marriage to be a tree that feeds the next generation?

00:23 Who Counsels You

01:21 Drifting Without Intention

02:08 Series Intro Psalm One

03:05 Righteous Versus Wicked

05:26 Reading Psalm One

06:32 Walk Stand Sit Drift

09:17 Modern Scoffers And Algorithms

11:31 Family Patterns Guide Break

13:48 Counsel Of Wicked Today

15:23 Therapeutic Culture Warnings

18:53 Delight Not Just Duty

21:48 Steadfast Love And Surfing

23:15 Taste And Return

24:09 Biblical Meditation Hagah

25:09 Three Movements Of Meditation

26:24 Righteous Living In Marriage

30:07 Tree By Streams Contrast

31:04 Chaff Explained And Direction

31:59 Planted To Thrive And Bear Fruit

35:20 The Lord Knows Yada

39:48 What Shapes Your Marriage

41:49 Choose Christ And Live It

43:32 Prayer And Weekly Questions

What if the prayer that could change your marriage isn't "Lord, help my spouse change," but "Lord, make me more like You"?

We pray for better communication, less conflict, more connection, and greater understanding in marriage. And those are all good things to pray for!

But how often do we ask God to change our hearts in the process?

In this episode of Expedition Marriage, we're exploring the difference between two powerful kinds of prayers: "Help me" and "Make me."

One invites God's help in our circumstances. The other invites His transforming work in our lives.

And here's the important part: We need both.

We're talking about:

• Why asking God for help is biblical and necessary
• How self-reliance can sneak into our prayer lives
• The difference between wanting relief and wanting transformation
• What it means to pray bold, Scripture-based prayers
• How to stop focusing only on your spouse's shortcomings
• Why spiritual growth can change the dynamics of your marriage
• How to pray for your spouse with the right heart
• Why surrender, patience, and humility matter in marriage

We're also sharing some honest reflections from our own lives and exploring what Scripture says about becoming more like Christ.

Because the goal isn't simply to have an easier marriage.

It's to become two people who increasingly reflect Jesus in the way they love one another.

FREE DOWNLOAD: Help Me and Make Me — Prayers for Your Marriage

Get our Scripture-based, seven-day prayer guide, complete with practical prayers and couples discussion questions.

https://expeditionmarriage.org/podcast/ep-200-help-me-or-make-me-a-prayer-that-could-change-your-marriage

00:00 Marriage Needs Transformation

00:37 Make Me vs Help Me

02:12 Heart Motives in Prayer

04:50 Self Reliance and Control

08:29 Marriage Prayers and Gods Will

13:48 Help Me Dependence vs Make Me Surrender

16:13 Bold Prayers and Sanctification

19:42 Waiting and Heart Posture

21:11 Not Magic Words

22:12 Real Prayer Heart

22:47 Better Spouse Prayers

24:10 Praying For Spouse

25:55 Check Your Because

26:35 Connection And Intentionality

28:10 Growth Changes Dynamics

33:23 Scripture And Transformation

36:15 Mission Field Marriage

40:46 Relief Versus Surrender

42:30 Closing Prayer And Download

What are you actually building your marriage on?

Marriage advice? Therapy? Instagram reels? A favorite podcast? What feels right?

Those things may offer helpful tools, but as Christian couples, none of them were ever meant to replace God's Word.

In this episode of Expedition Marriage, we're talking about biblical illiteracy and the impact it's having on Christian marriages.

And we're not just talking about reading more Bible verses.

We're talking about knowing Scripture well enough to recognize truth, understand context, identify when the Bible is being misused, and—most importantly—allow God's Word to transform how we live and love our spouse.

We're getting into:

• The biblical illiteracy problem among Christians
• Why information without transformation isn't enough
• Scripture being taken out of context
• Weaponizing verses about submission and forgiveness
• Why you shouldn't simply believe everything a pastor, counselor, podcaster, or Instagram account tells you
• "Life coach Jesus" and our desire to only hear what makes us feel good
• Why couples need to study Scripture for themselves
• How to start reading the Bible together when you don't know where to begin

You don't need a seminary degree.

You don't need to understand Greek.

You don't even need an elaborate Bible study plan.

You just need to start.

Because storms eventually come to every marriage.

The question isn't whether they'll come.

It's whether your marriage has been built on something strong enough to stand when they do.

00:00 Myths and Illiteracy

00:59 Marriage Without Purpose

02:53 Bible Reading Decline

04:21 No Shame Just Conviction

05:50 Basic Bible Knowledge Gaps

08:47 Teens and Cultural Lies

10:44 Bad Theology in the Pew

12:06 Bible Habits and Divorce

13:38 Handling Scripture Rightly

18:01 Cherry Picking and Deconstruction

22:49 Scripture Over Leaders

23:25 Damage From Misuse

24:09 Study Beyond Sundays

25:35 Famine Of The Word

26:32 Weaponized Marriage Verses

27:28 Forgiveness Misapplied

30:32 Pop Psychology Vs Truth

33:50 Tickling Ears Warning

36:46 Lamp For Daily Steps

39:48 How To Start Reading

41:43 Church And Resources

45:33 Rock Foundation Wrap-Up

• Bible reading among U.S. adults hit a 15-year low in 2024. Only 30% of adults were reading Scripture weekly. Among self-identified Christians that number was just a little better.
• 60% of Americans cannot name five of the Ten Commandments.
• 82% of Americans believe the phrase "God helps those who help themselves" is in the Bible. Born-again Christians did better — by one percent.
• Only 12% of U.S. adults can name all four Gospels.
• 71% of Christian teens cannot distinguish biblical truth from cultural lies.
• The 2025 Ligonier State of Theology survey — among self-identified evangelicals — found that 47% agreed that God accepts the worship of all religions. 28% said Jesus was a great teacher but not God.
• Couples who regularly read the Bible, attend church consistently, and live as devoted followers of Christ are 35% less likely to divorce than the general population.
• Nominal Christians — those who claim the faith but don't engage the Word — are 20% more likely to divorcethan the general population.