Nine years on social media. Two hundred thousand followers, mostly women, mostly moms, almost no gay men. Joseph has thoughts about that, and about the other seventy percent of what all of us do online.

The nail tapping. The "everyone's been asking" when nobody asked. The fit check nobody requested. The seven-part series about a brunch invitation. The grocery montage that takes more editors than a feature film. The motivational speech filmed in a parked Hyundai.

And the confession: he has walked into his own house more than once, because the first time he entered his own home it wasn't natural enough.

Underneath the roast, the actual point. Social media paid his bills and let him stay home with his girls when he was a single father, and he will never shit on that. What he hates is the moment the content becomes more important than the thing that was actually happening. Dinner can just be dinner.

This episode is sponsored by Glitz Jewellery, 2396 Major Mackenzie Drive, Unit 8, Vaughan. Ask for Lina. Fifteen percent off through the BTC Magazine app.

BOOK SIGNING: this Sunday, October 18, 2 to 4 PM at Hillcrest Mall in Richmond Hill. Joseph will be signing The Dad Diaries and reading a passage. Come say hi.

Joseph's memoir THE DAD DIARIES is out now, published by Cormorant Books. Signed copies at thedaddiaries.com, also on Amazon and Indigo.

Got a mess of your own? Send it to info@jeopublishing.com.

More at betweenthecoversmag.com, or read the magazine free in the BTC Magazine app, iOS and Android.

Bitch Fest is a Between the Covers production.