I wonder if there’s a point when you lean so far into the darkness that you end up pushing through to the light beyond? Whether that’s; Proverbial light, heavenly light, sunlight, moonlight or maybe you just finally crash into the lamp and turn it on. I wonder, is there a light somewhere on the other side?

I certainly managed to find the light of my computer screen and paint palettes after months of darkness and despair. I had initially intended to launch Escapade 1461 in August of 2024 however the shadows descended and here I am in May 2025 in my dimly lit studio searching for the brighter days. If there is one thing I have learnt in my somewhat of an absence from life it’s that there is nothing more unpredictable in life than life itself, I suppose with the exception of the spider that you lose when you turn your back on it to find a receptacle with which to expel it.

Time is a finite resource and I fear that whilst drowning in an uncontrollable doom I have lost so much time and I am feeling anxious to make sure that I don’t lose anymore. My 34th birthday is looming on the horizon as a stark reminder that I have nothing to show for this year of life except of course that I survived it and yet somehow still my life is completely unrecognisable.

Vincent Van Gogh was 37 when he swapped his paintbrush for a revolver and left his final mark on this world in various shades of ochre and heartache. Blood turns from red to various shades of browns as it dries, Ochre, comes in various shades of reds, oranges and browns, isn’t that weirdly beautiful? A man who painted some of his most iconic paintings, not that he knew they were iconic, with shades of ochre had those same shades as the last colours he left on this world.

Whether he knew it or not, at 33 he had just 4 years left.

If so much can change in one year, what could happen in four?

Welcome to Escapade 1461, let’s find out.

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