Episode 38 - How To Break Free From Golden Handcuffs
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SHOW NOTES
In this episode of 'Becoming No Ordinary Woman', Joanna explores the concept of 'golden handcuffs'—the invisible constraints that come with success, which can lead to feelings of entrapment and unfulfilment. She shares her personal journey of breaking free from these constraints and offers practical strategies for women who feel stuck in their careers or identities. The conversation emphasises the importance of self-discovery, redefining one's identity, and taking actionable steps towards liberation and fulfilment.
Takeaways
- Golden handcuffs are a prison we create for ourselves.
- Fulfilment is the key difference in feeling trapped.
- It's not about being trapped in something terrible, but attached to something admirable.
- Identity shifts are always uncomfortable but necessary for growth.
- You don't break golden handcuffs in one dramatic leap; it takes stages.
- Clarity reduces the psychological weight of fear.
- Start living as the woman you're becoming now.
- Each small act rewires your capacity for risk.
- Golden handcuffs tighten when decisions are vague or delayed.
Strategy - How to break golden handcuffs
Step 1: Separate Reality from Fear
Grab a piece of paper and write two columns:
Column 1: What is objectively true if I leave?
Column 2: What am I imagining might happen?
Most women realise that clarity reduces psychological weight.
Step 2: Identify – think about What You’re Actually Attached To
Ask yourself:
Is it the money? Or the meaning you attach to the money?
Is it the title? Or who you get to be because of the title?
Name the attachment precisely. You can’t release what you haven’t defined
Step 3: Rebuild Identity Before You Resign
This is critical. If you wait until you leave to decide who you are your nervous system will panic.
Instead Start living as the woman you’re becoming now.
Step 4: Increase Your Tolerance for Discomfort
Expansion and evolution require discomfort.
If you are going to live you dream beyond the handcuffs you have to:
- Start saying no to what no longer serves who you are becoming
- Setting new standards and boundaries for yourself
- Making small courageous decisions, one step at a time. They compound!
- Investing in yourself
- Let people misunderstand you – people will fall away because they liked the old you and that is ok.
Step 5: Create a Decision Timeline
Golden handcuffs tighten when decisions are vague or keep getting put off and delayed.
Set a date. Not to leap. To decide.
SOUL Journal prompts
- If no one was watching, what would you choose?
- If all the status, the salary and the success was to disappear overnight, what would you be choosing next?
- Who are you protecting by staying?
- What part of you feels unseen in your current life?
- If you stay five more years, how does that feel in your body?
- Are you loyal to your comfort…or loyal to your potential?
UNIVERSAL GUIDANCE — The Devil
The Devil in tarot isn’t about evil.
It’s about attachment.
It’s about the illusion of bondage.
In the traditional imagery of The Devil tarot card, the chains around the figures are loose.
They can step away.
But they don’t.
Because the cage feels familiar.
Because the attachment feels comfortable.
Because freedom feels uncertain.
This card asks:
Where are you giving your power away to something that isn’t actually holding you?
Golden handcuffs are rarely locked from the outside.
They’re agreements.
And agreements can be renegotiated.
The Devil is not a warning.
It’s an invitation.
To reclaim your authority.
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📸 Instagram: @becomingnoordinarywoman
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