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Holli LaMarque of Fortitude Defense shares a clear path for people who don’t see themselves as fighters to become hard targets: stand tall, make eye contact, use your voice, and have a plan if kindness fails.

We unpack her Embolden–Equip–Empower framework and why each stage matters. Embolden builds courage and presence so you stop advertising vulnerability. Equip layers in high-percentage techniques that hold up under pressure wrist releases, wall escapes, palm and knee strikes, positional control. Empower teaches you to take charge when escape isn’t possible: mount, side control, back takes, and chokes that work for smaller bodies. We compare sport jiu-jitsu to street realities, highlighting what transfers (timing, breathing, composure, leverage) and what to simplify (no fancy flying arm bars in a gas station).

Holli tackles tough myths head-on: you do not need to “get fit first,” and a single workshop won’t make you safe. She redesigned Fortitude around a Lifer model one investment for Levels 1–3 with unlimited refreshers so skills and mindset get real reps. We talk kids’ self-defense, spotting grooming and domestic violence red flags, and why trauma-aware coaching matters. You’ll hear practical drills to raise your presence eye contact, confident greetings, posture and why ground skills are a must for women and smaller folks. Holli also shares her own game (mount pressure, guillotines, Ezekiel Chokes, triangles) and how competing and cross-training sharpen her teaching.

If you care about personal safety, confidence under pressure, and the blend of mindset plus mechanics, this conversation gives you a roadmap. Follow Fortitude Defense on Instagram, check classes at fortitudedefense.com, and connect with us on the Caffeinated Jiu-Jitsu Instagram. If this helped, subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs a confident plan.

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