We'd love to tell you that this week's episode starts professionally.

It doesn't.

Before we've even properly begun, Bernie and Kirsty spend nearly two minutes completely corpsing, nobody can pull themselves together and any remaining pretence that this is a professionally produced podcast disappears entirely.

Eventually, we manage to talk about dating.

This week we're looking back at first dates, disastrous dates, online dating and the red flags we probably should have paid considerably more attention to. From Tinder and Plenty of Fish to awkward cinema trips, unwanted advances and dates that should have ended much sooner than they did, there are some questionable romantic decisions to unpack.

TJ also opens the vault on a couple of his more memorable encounters – including a date involving a man dressed as a wizard and another where an unexpected hairpiece rather changed the mood.

We ask what actually makes a good first date, whether you should eat in front of someone you've only just met, who should pay, how dating changes once you're married with children and whether a night on the sofa with a board game can legitimately count as date night.

There's also dating safety, separate bank accounts, terrible matches, relationship finances and the important matter of keeping the spark alive when real life, children and budgets get in the way.

Come for the dating disasters. Stay to find out whether Bernie and Kirsty ever actually stop laughing.