In this episode, Dayjah reflects candidly on how early childhood abuse shaped her adult relationships—and how long it took to recognize the pattern.

When Dr. Lois Lee tells Dayjah, “your picker is broken,” the moment opens a deeper conversation about why people who experience early harm are often drawn to unhealthy relationships again and again. Dayjah shares that both of her children’s fathers were dishonest or worse, and how she now wishes she had listened more closely to the guidance of her parents.

Today, Dayjah is taking a break from dating. As she explains, many of the men she has encountered have been dishonest, unfaithful, or abusive—and she recognizes that healing must come before choosing differently.

Dr. Lois Lee emphasizes that early abuse impacts adult decision-making in profound ways, and that changing these patterns requires time, self-reflection, and long-term healing. This episode offers an honest, relatable discussion about trauma, boundaries, and the work it takes to build healthier futures.

Episode Highlights

“Your picker is broken” — and what that really means

How early abuse influences adult relationship choices

Reflecting on parental guidance and missed warnings

Choosing to pause dating to focus on healing

Why breaking patterns takes years, not quick fixes

How self-awareness is the first step toward change

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