There are moments when the joy is so big — and right alongside it comes the ache.

I wish my mother could see this.

As I prepare to travel to Trinidad to watch my son represent The Bahamas as part of the national swim team, I've found myself thinking about the person I most wish could be in the stands with me: my mother.

But one of the things I've learned about grief after losing my mother is that it doesn't only show up in the big moments.

It's there in the funny things our children say. The ordinary Tuesdays. The milestones, struggles and pieces of life we still instinctively want to turn around and share with the woman who knew us first.

In this episode of The Motherless Mother Podcast, I'm reflecting on what it means to move through motherhood without your own mother — to miss not only the person, but the witness to the life you're now living.

We talk about the pieces of our mothers we carry into our own motherhood, the way their absence can find us even in joyful moments, and what it means to hold grief, gratitude and faith at the same time.

Because we can trust God and still miss our mothers. We can be deeply grateful for the lives we're living and still wish they were here to see what happened next.

In this episode:

• Missing your mother in life's biggest and smallest moments
• Motherhood after losing your mother
• The instinct to still want to tell her everything
• Carrying your mother's influence into your own motherhood
• Holding joy and grief at the same time
• Finding hope and faith in the midst of grief

If this episode brings to mind something you wish your mother could see, I'd love to hear about it. Email me at hello@themotherlessmother.com.

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Next week: What Kind of Mother Will They Remember?