Before Nic ever chose a home birth, there was a deeper journey she had to walk — one of confronting guilt, betrayal, and the slow erosion of self-trust that followed her early hospital births.

In Part 1 of this two-part conversation, Nic shares what happened before the home birth: the trauma that didn’t come from the baby being born, but from not being heard, believed, or treated as a person.

In this episode, we explore:

• How Nic internalised guilt and responsibility after her first birth injury
• What it feels like to be calm in labour — and not believed because of it
• Why “doing everything right” doesn’t protect you from system betrayal
• How her second hospital birth was technically “better” — but still violating
• The moment she realised she hadn’t had time or space to process either birth
• Why stopping halfway through healing leaves trauma running the show
• The difference between chasing a “healing birth” and doing the healing work

This conversation is an honest look at how birth trauma forms, how it lingers, and why true healing doesn’t come from one perfect experience — but from reclaiming trust, worth, and agency before the next chapter begins.

🎧 Start here with Episode 22, then continue to Episode 23 to hear how this healing journey made Nic’s sovereign home birth possible.

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