True story:

My guest this week was sitting in a high-level corporate meeting.

She was brilliant.

She was capable.

She had the MBA and the expertise.

But she was terrified to speak up.

Then a senior leader looked her dead in the eye and asked a question that changed everything.

“Why are you hiding in plain sight?”

That woman is Dorlee Michaeli.

Today she is a trauma-informed psychotherapist and EMDR clinician. But back then? She was just trying to survive.

She realized she was dimming her own light on purpose.

Not because she wasn’t smart.

But because somewhere along the way she learned that being “too visible” wasn’t safe.

Here is the takeaway:

We don’t just wake up one day with Imposter Syndrome.

Nobody decides to be anxious or to play small.

These are survival strategies.

Dorlee shared a powerful realization with me. Growing up, her role was to be the supporting actor so her mother could be the star.

If she shined too bright, it felt dangerous.

So she adapted.

She assessed her environment. She addressed it the best way she knew how. And she adapted by hiding.

That is not a defect. That is a brilliant adaptation by a young nervous system trying to stay safe.

Now, how does this apply to you?

If you feel like a fraud at work...

Or if you freeze up when it’s time to present...

It’s probably not a confidence issue. It’s a safety issue.

Your body is remembering an old rule: Stay small to stay safe.

This is why I love EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing).

It helps us go back to those old emotional imprints. The ones that tell us we aren’t enough or that we need to hide.

It helps us process them so they stop running the show from the background.

Dorlee and I dug deep into this.

We talked about how “benign” neglect—like a parent who is physically there but emotionally checked out—can leave massive scars.

In fact, when people take my HURRT Assessment, the Emotional Neglect scores are almost always higher than the classic trauma scores.

We cannot heal what we don’t understand.

So if you are tired of the “Itty Bitty Shitty Committee” telling you to hide...

Then you need to listen to this episode.

We talk about:

* How to spot High-Functioning Anxiety before it leads to burnout.

* Why “benign” childhood experiences might be keeping you stuck.

* What EMDR actually is (and why it works).

* How to step out of self-doubt and into leadership.

Listen to the full conversation with Dorlee Michaeli here.

And if you are wondering what hidden patterns might be holding you back...

My free tool is designed to help you gain clarity on your emotional wellbeing.

Take the HURRT Assessment here

You aren’t broken. You’re just adapting.

Let’s flip that mindset.

P.S. You can connect with Dorlee and learn more about her work with EMDR here:

* Website: DorleeMichaeli.com

* Offer: She is offering 3 “Curiosity Calls” for listeners who want to see if EMDR is a good fit.