URGENCY (JANUARY 26)

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"We cannot put off living until we are ready. The most salient characteristic of life is its coerciveness; it is always urgent, 'here and now' without any possible postponement. Life is fired at us point blank" (José Ortega y Gasset).

IN MANY CASES, WHATEVER IS WORTH DOING IS NOT ONLY WORTH DOING WELL; IT’S WORTH DOING RIGHT NOW. When we know there is some good thing to be done and it would be best to tend to it immediately, procrastination is a dangerous, opportunity-wasting maneuver. In matters of conscience, certainly, we would be better off if we were people whose inward character had more urgency. “Life is fired at us point blank,” as the quotation above reminds us — and it’s usually a mistake to duck or run away from the daily duties that make up our lives. “Now!” is a beneficial frame of mind.

Much has been written about the bad habit of letting our lives be consumed by the trivial things that demand our attention, while more important matters go undone. To whatever extent we can distinguish between “urgent” and “important,” we do need to resist the tyranny of things that are urgent but not important. I don’t deny that. But when I recommend urgency as a positive character trait, I’m saying that we ought to grant a greater urgency to the things that are important — our definition of what’s urgent needs to change.

Almost everybody has had the experience of being given a gift by somebody who couldn’t wait for us to open it. When we said, “Thanks, I look forward to finding out what it is,” they said, “Go ahead! Open it! Open it!” Do we mind that kind of urgency? Are we put off by it? Certainly not. And the point is that we should be giving our very selves to our loved ones with that kind of eagerness. Love has a beautiful urgency about it — and so does friendship.

Whether or not we show a healthy measure of urgency in our hearts probably depends on how we see life in general. The most delightfully urgent people I know happen to be people whose basic response to life is “Yes!” Whatever difficulties they may have to endure, their overarching attitude toward their place in the world is one of gratitude. I’m as realistic about the problems in our world as you are, but I maintain that there is still a good bit of grace to be found and acted upon. The right response to today’s grace is a hearty “Yes!”

"The day is short, the labor long, the workers are idle, the reward is great, and the Master is urgent" (Mishnah).

Gary Henry - WordPoints.com + AreYouaChristian.com

WINSOMENESS (JANUARY 25)

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"A person or action which can be described by the [Greek] word kalos is not only good; he or it is also beautiful. It therefore has in it the idea of goodness which is winsome and attractive. Very often the best translation of it is 'lovely'" (William Barclay).

WINSOMENESS IS ONE KIND OF GOODNESS — IT’S THE KIND THAT IS “ATTRACTIVE.” When someone is charming or delightful, we’re attracted to them; that is, we’re pulled toward them. The pull is not a physical force like gravitation or magnetism, yet it sometimes feels that compelling. (Antonyms like “repulsive” or “repellent” share the same metaphor, of course, only in reverse. These attributes push us away from those who have them.) “Winsomeness,” then, is attractive goodness, goodness that pulls with the power of likability.

In ancient times, the Greeks had a special word for this kind of goodness: kalos. In contrast to agathos, the ordinary word for “good,” kalos meant that which was fine, admirable, or praiseworthy. If something was kalos, it was not only the right thing to do and proper from a technical or legal viewpoint; it was also delightful. And these are two very different kinds of goodness, aren’t they? We all know people who are scrupulously correct, but their rightness feels formalistic; it doesn’t have much warmth or beauty to it. Other people, however, are no less concerned to do the right thing, but their goodness is also lovely and inviting. They are “winsome.”

It’s interesting that our English word “winsome” comes from the Old English wynn, which simply meant “joy.” When we say that a friend has a “winning” smile, we don’t just mean that their facial expressions can win us over but that their goodness gives us great joy.

Are you working on your winsomeness? I hope so. And I hope you’ll see it as something more than just a personality trait. In reality, it’s a character trait. Real winsomeness has a much higher goal than “how to win friends and influence people.” It’s not a friend-making strategy to use or a manipulative technique to employ; it’s a gift to give. It’s the imparting of daily grace to those around us.

A sweet attractive kind of grace,
A full assurance given by looks,
Continual comfort in a face,
The lineaments of Gospel books;
I trow that countenance cannot lie
Where thoughts are legible in the eye.
(Matthew Roydon)

Gary Henry - WordPoints.com + AreYouaChristian.com

CRAFTSMANSHIP (JANUARY 24)

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"Criticism comes easier than craftsmanship" (Zeuxis).

IF WE HAVE TO ADMIT THAT WE SPEND MORE TIME CRITIQUING THE WORK OF OTHERS THAN WE DO IMPROVING OUR OWN CRAFTSMANSHIP, THAT’S NOT A GOOD THING. Most of the worthwhile things that human beings are called upon to do require some skill and ability. It’s a fact that other people often fail to do their work as skillfully as might be expected, but even so, pointing out that fact is rarely the most productive thing we could be doing with our time. Sharpening our own skills is usually the better choice.

If the word "pride" can ever be used in a good sense, it’s probably in the phrase “pride of workmanship.” Pride of workmanship is the pleasure the craftsman has when he finishes a piece of work and knows that it’s the very best he can do. It’s one of life’s best feelings, actually. And it’s sad that so few people ever experience it.

The quality of our craftsmanship could certainly be improved in the many specific things we do — our work, our hobbies, our community involvement, and so forth — but there is an even more important sense in which we are practicing a craft. A human life as a whole is a thing that has to be made or created. In an overall sense, we are each “building” something that will eventually be finished. Whether the finished product will be one that anybody can feel good about depends, to a large extent, on how active we are in improving our craftsmanship — and today is always the best day to improve it!

As we give ourselves to our family, friends, and coworkers, it’s a gratifying thing to know that we’re giving them the very best handiwork we’re capable of producing. Surely, some of our peers are people who mean so much to us that we wouldn’t ever want to give them anything but our best. But in truth, there is no one we’ll ever meet who doesn’t deserve the best that we can offer them.

So, let’s aspire to being people who know how to craft a human life that’s worthy of appreciation and also have the self-discipline that such a result requires. It’s a daunting challenge, without a doubt, and it will consume vast reserves of both patience and diligence. But crafting an honorable life is not impossible.

"If a great thing can be done at all, it can be done easily. But it is that kind of ease with which a tree blossoms after long years of gathering strength" (John Ruskin).

Gary Henry - WordPoints.com + AreYouaChristian.com

CAMARADERIE (JANUARY 23)

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"It must be obvious to those who take the time to look at human life that its greatest values lie not in getting things, but in doing them, in doing them together, in all working toward a common aim, in the experience of comradeship, of warmhearted one hundred percent human life" (W. T. Grant).

WE OFTEN UNDERESTIMATE THE GOODNESS THAT IS GENERATED WHEN PEOPLE WORK TOGETHER ON SOMETHING THEY’RE ALL PASSIONATELY COMMITTED TO. Call it “synergy” or whatever you like, there is something very special that takes place when two or more people make a mutual assault on a challenge that would be too much for any of them individually. When the undertaking is dangerous or physically threatening, the spirit of “camaraderie” is especially deep and meaningful, but we don’t have to be soldiers sharing a foxhole under enemy fire to experience the benefits of this phenomenon. There are many other ways we can be comrades.

The main ingredient necessary for the spirit of camaraderie is a common vision or purpose. To be bound together beneficially, a group must have an objective that is not only held in common but is also felt to be extremely important by the group. When two or more people are committed to a goal that is greater than any differences that might separate them, powerful things are likely to take place. When a group has a goal greater than its differences, you’d be wise to stand back. It’s coming through, and if you’re an obstruction, you’re likely to get run over.

The wonderful thing about life is that there is no shortage of good goals that can weld us together. And not only that, we can be members of more than one group, committed to more than one goal.

These days, most of us live and work in locales where there are many other people. We find ourselves being in close proximity to other human beings whether we make any effort to do so or not. But the really good things in life don’t come to us unless we move beyond physical closeness to actual camaraderie.

It takes a conscious choice on our part to connect in a healthy way to those who jostle up against us from day to day. Good, mutually beneficial relationships are there for the making, and we ought not to be content just to occupy physically adjoining spaces. With at least a few of these people, we need to become comrades.

"A crowd is not company" (Old Saying).

Gary Henry - WordPoints.com + AreYouaChristian.com

IMAGINATION (JANUARY 22)

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"The necessity of loyalty between friends, the responsibility that the strong owe the infirm, the illusion of ill-gotten gain, the rewards of hard work, honesty, and trust — these are enduring truths glimpsed and judged first through the imagination, first through art" (Michael Dorris).

IMAGINATION WAS GIVEN TO US NOT ONLY FOR OUR ENTERTAINMENT; IT WAS ALSO GIVEN FOR OUR INSTRUCTION. It’s a silly person indeed who, disliking fiction, says that he only enjoys books that are “true.” Not only can imaginative works convey truth, but they can often do so more powerfully than an argument or an exposition. It is no accident that the most influential teachers the world has ever known have engaged our imaginations with stories.

None of us has grasped any more than a minute fraction of all that is real. If we were good enough with words to describe in detail every single thing we know to be true, the books we might write would still contain only a tiny part of what there is to know. Deep down, we know this. We know that there is so much more. In our heart of hearts, we feel the tug of great things that lie just outside the boundaries of our present knowledge. We sense their existence, but we can’t quite pin them down or explain them.

Imagination is the tool that’s been given to us by which we can reach beyond what we know is true and touch things we only have an inkling are true. Joseph Roux said it this way: “That which we know is but little; that which we have a presentiment of is immense; it is in this direction that the poet outruns the learned man.” Imagination is what allows our intellect to dream and to aspire!

We need to take better care of our imaginations than we sometimes do. For one thing, we need to be more careful what we feed them. Many things that we might imagine are not worth imagining, and we ought to steer clear of all that is sordid or selfish. Beyond that, however, we need to nurture our imaginations, taking good care of them. If we allow them to have the exercise they need, they’ll grow and become strong. In time, they’ll take their place among our best friends. And, as we’ve said, they’ll not only entertain us; they’ll teach us. As folks who are both thoughtful and imaginative, we’ll learn a lot more than we could with either tool alone.

"You ride astride the imaginary in order to hunt down the real" (Breyten Breytenbach).

Gary Henry - WordPoints.com + AreYouaChristian.com

FEEDBACK (JANUARY 21)

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"Because of its value, some people have called feedback 'the breakfast of champions.' But it isn't the breakfast; it's the lunch. Vision is the breakfast. Self-correction is the dinner" (Stephen R. Covey).

FEEDBACK IS THE THING THAT LETS US KNOW HOW WE’RE DOING. The word has some other scientific and technical definitions, but in the realm of human relationships, feedback is simply the information that comes to us from outside our own minds, telling us what the results of our actions have been. If an employee receives a performance appraisal from his supervisor, that’s feedback. If a student gets an exam back with a grade on it, that’s feedback. If a friend tells you that she was offended by something you said, that’s feedback.

Without feedback, it’s almost impossible to know whether our actions have achieved the result we were hoping for. We may have our own ideas and impressions about what we’ve done, but those impressions can be seriously out of touch with the real facts. Even the most objective people among us need the benefit of external feedback, information from outside ourselves that can help us see if any adjustments need to be made in what we’re doing.

If we know what’s good for us, we will appreciate, rather than resent, those who give us feedback. There is even a sense in which we ought to make good use of the feedback we get from enemies. If a comment is made that contains some truth we need to hear, we’d be foolish to disregard the truth just because of where it came from. Indeed, our enemies will sometimes come closer to telling us the truth than will our friends, who tend to err on the side of courtesy because they don’t want to jeopardize the relationship.

Our lives often languish for lack of feedback. We hide from it, preferring the comfort and security of our own self-image. And consequently, we stay stuck. We don’t make the progress that could be made if we opened ourselves up to outside information about where we really are right now. Too embarrassed to be told, “You’re still a beginner,” we doom ourselves to being a beginner permanently.

"Building character and competency is a process, and one of the highest-leverage things we can do in this process is to regularly seek 360-degree feedback. It takes humility to ask for and receive it. You may have to take oxygen to get through it. But understanding it and acting wisely with regard to it can powerfully impact your time and quality of life" (Stephen R. Covey).

Gary Henry - WordPoints.com + AreYouaChristian.com

REALISM (JANUARY 20)

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"The very greatest mystery is in unsheathed reality itself" (Eudora Welty).

TRUTH, WE’RE OFTEN TOLD, IS STRANGER THAN FICTION. I would agree, as long as we use the word “strange” to mean “wonderful,” i.e., “producing a sense of wonder.” Compared to what we sometimes wish to be real or prefer to be real, what is real is almost always more full of wonder. As a writer of some of the twentieth century’s greatest fiction, Eudora Welty knew what she was talking about: “The very greatest mystery is in unsheathed reality itself.” Very often, nothing has to be done to reality to make it intriguing. It’s that way already.

A commitment to reality is a good thing. We’d be better off if we made such a commitment more earnestly. But doing that isn’t always easy. For one thing, it takes humility. Reality is a thing that we must bow before with a certain amount of reverence. In addition, a commitment to reality takes courage. “Realists do not fear the results of their study” (Fyodor Dostoevsky). Once we commit to following the truth, there’s no telling where it might lead us before we’re done.

But there is one other thing that should be said about realists. Contrary to the popular stereotype, realists are usually people of action. There is a certain type of individual who, under the guise of “realism,” is always saying, “That won’t work.” He never has a better plan, but he knows the one being proposed is going to fail. But that’s not realism — it’s laziness. As Sydney J. Harris said, “An idealist believes the short run doesn’t count. A cynic believes the long run doesn’t matter. A realist believes that what is done or left undone in the short run determines the long run.” The genuine realist is always willing, with both humility and courage, to act. He’s willing to do the best thing he knows to do at the present moment.

What we all want in life is to have people who will deal with us realistically. We want to be accepted for what we are, even with our blemishes and blunders. But if we want that, shouldn’t we deal with others in the same way? Real people, like real life, don’t always conform to our wishes. If they did, they wouldn’t be as “wonderful.”

"Nothing which is at all times and in every way agreeable to us can have objective reality. It is of the very nature of the real that it should have sharp corners and rough edges, that it should be resistant, should be itself. Dream-furniture is the only kind on which you never stub your toes or bang your knee" (C. S. Lewis).

Gary Henry - WordPoints.com + AreYouaChristian.com

SPONTANEITY (JANUARY 19)

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"Some desire is necessary to keep life in motion, and he whose real wants are supplied must admit those of fancy" (Samuel Johnson).

OF ALL THE FUELS THAT CAN FIRE US UP, ONE OF THE MOST WONDERFUL IS SPONTANEITY. Of necessity, we spend the greater part of our time “taking care of business.” Things like food, clothing, and shelter have to be provided, along with an increasing number of other basic needs. But life can’t be about these things entirely, and the desire (often quite strong) to break out of our routines and do something unplanned and unpredictable is not a bad desire. It must be managed with wisdom, admittedly, but there’s no denying that spontaneity can be a potent force for good in our lives.

It’s an unfortunate person who is so busy being “productive” that he can’t be diverted from that once in a while. In the words of George Santayana, “To condemn spontaneous and delightful occupations because they are useless for self-preservation shows an uncritical prizing of life irrespective of its content.” And not only that, the truly productive people are almost always those who know how to blend a little humor and impulse into their recipe for living.

The benefit and the pleasure of spontaneity are two reasons to keep up with our regular work. If we procrastinate our regular duties, we may find that we stay in emergency mode most of the time, rushing to do things that can’t possibly be put off any longer. In that mode, it’s almost impossible to indulge the desire to do things spontaneously. But those who have kept up with their normal work have the luxury of being able to lay it aside when a spur-of-the-moment impulse strikes them. It’s a nice reward for having been diligent.

We need to appreciate the spontaneous people who enter our lives. These free spirits can be exasperating at times, but the truth of the matter is, we’re fortunate to have their influence upon us. They often furnish us with a much-needed invigorating force. It’s a privilege to be “inconvenienced” by the person who drops by in the middle of the morning to say, “Let’s go get a cup of coffee.”

As we said, spontaneity must be managed wisely. But true wisdom can laugh. It can giggle. It can appreciate a change of plans. And — believe it or not — wisdom sometimes has no plan at all!

"It is a bad plan that admits of no modification" (Publilius Syrus).

Gary Henry - WordPoints.com + AreYouaChristian.com