In this week’s episode of Routes of Healing, Dr. Siri Chand Khalsa sits down with Dr. Wendy Schofer, a pediatrician, lifestyle medicine physician, and founder of Family in Focus. Dr. Schofer helps parents recapture joy, strengthen relationships, and build healthier family systems at any size by centering emotional health as the foundation of lifelong wellbeing.

Together, they explore how many clinicians and parents were trained to minimize feelings, even though emotions shape behavior, habits, and connection. Dr. Schofer shares how repeated burnout, identity strain, and “not fitting the mold” became a turning point that led her toward coaching, community-based work, and a broader definition of what family care can be. They also talk about social emotional learning in schools, supporting educators and parents, addressing weight stigma, and why humor and play are not extras, they are tools that create safety and trust.

If you are a clinician navigating burnout, a parent trying to support a child without power struggles, or a human who wants better relationships with food, movement, and feelings, this episode offers practical insight and permission to be more fully yourself.

If you’re inspired by our exploration on Routes of Healing, a physician-led podcast uplifting the wisdom and lived experience of integrative and lifestyle medicine doctors, subscribe to receive new episodes weekly.

🔑 Key Topics & Takeaways

Emotions as the full spectrum, why you cannot “remove one color” from the rainbow.

Burnout and shame, how “I’m the problem” thinking keeps people stuck.

Creating a non-linear career, experimenting, learning what settings fit your strengths.

Family as a system, expanding the definition beyond titles and traditional roles.

Emotional health as the missing link in lifestyle change, why scripts do not translate at home.

Social emotional learning in schools, supporting teachers and parents so kids are not carrying it alone.

Connection before correction, reducing friction with food, movement, and health habits.

Changing relationships without requiring the other person to change, the power of shifting your part.

Family in Focus, building a space for parents to speak honestly without “little ears listening.”

Weight concerns vs weight stigma, creating safer conversations for teens and families.

Humor as regulation, how play reduces threat and opens communication in clinical care.

Urgent care realities, using warmth, curiosity, and pattern recognition to build trust quickly.

Naming what feels “thick” in the room, giving emotions language so they can soften.

⏱ Chapters

00:00 — Emotions as a Rainbow, Why You Cannot Remove One Color

00:35 — Welcome and Introduction to Dr. Wendy Schofer

01:17 — The Tapestry, Joy, and “Teach Feelings”

04:15 — Training Path, Pediatrics, Lifestyle Medicine, and Navy Medicine

06:12 — Defining Family as Connection, Not Titles

08:08 — “How Is This Possible for Me”, Burnout, Shame, and Finding Fit

13:57 — Expansive Questions That Create New Paths

15:02 — Medical Training Era, Role Models, and What Was Missing

16:25 — Gen X Mentorship, Vulnerability, and “Be More You”

20:08 — Emotional Intelligence in Pediatrics and Clinician Burnout

21:29 — Social Emotional Learning in Schools, Teachers and Parents Need Support Too

26:04 — Why Plans Fail, What Was Missing in Lifestyle Counseling

32:16 — How Family in Focus Was Born

37:30 — The Mother-in-Law Story, Proof That Relationships Can Change

40:52 — Building Offers Beyond the Office Visit

46:57 — Schools, Improv for Healthcare, and Weight Stigma Work

52:34 — Humor, Contradictions, and Recapturing Joy

56:54 — Pediatric Urgent Care, Connection in High-Stress Visits

1:00:32 — Naming the Elephant, Making Space for What Is...