What does your behavior teach your team when the pressure rises?

In this episode of Leadership Limbo, Josh Hugo and John Clark examine emotional regulation through a highly visible example from college football. After Alabama coach Kalen DeBoer criticized a player’s emotional mistake at the end of a close game, Josh questioned whether DeBoer’s own sideline reaction modeled the emotional maturity he expected from his team.

That observation unexpectedly reached tens of thousands of people on LinkedIn, generating everything from thoughtful disagreement to personal attacks. Responding to that reaction gave Josh an opportunity to practice the same emotional regulation his post addressed: remaining open to disagreement without becoming defensive, overly agreeable, or reactive.

Josh and John emphasize that emotional regulation does not mean eliminating emotion. Emotions provide information, influence decisions, and connect us to other people. The leadership challenge is to keep emotion in the vehicle without allowing it to take control of the steering wheel.

They also explore how pressure within a system influences individual behavior. Leaders remain responsible for their choices, but those choices are shaped by the expectations, anxiety, and emotional energy surrounding them. A leader’s visible frustration can also contribute to the conditions in which others become dysregulated.

Using contrasting examples from Kalen DeBoer and Notre Dame coach Marcus Freeman, Josh and John discuss how leaders can maintain accountability while acknowledging their own imperfect reactions. The goal is not perfection. It is choosing an approach that changes behavior, preserves connection, and demonstrates the self-awareness expected from everyone else.

Emotional regulation does not require leaders to suppress or eliminate emotion.

Emotions provide valuable information, but thoughtful principles should guide what a leader does next.

A leader’s behavior under pressure establishes expectations for how others may respond.

The emotional environment surrounding a leader can influence that leader’s behavior, just as the leader’s behavior influences the team.

Leaders can hold someone accountable while also examining how their own actions contributed to the situation.

The ability to demand better from others does not require perfection, but it does require a visible commitment to improving your own behavior.

When choosing how to hold someone accountable, ask whether your approach changes the behavior and preserves trust and connection.

Publicly acknowledging an overreaction can strengthen credibility without diminishing the original expectation.

00:00 – Football, Fandom, and Emotional Regulation

03:55 – The LinkedIn Post That Unexpectedly Went Viral

09:08 – What the Post Was Actually Trying to Say

13:00 – Practicing Emotional Regulation During Online Pushback

15:24 – Why Emotions Matter in Decision-Making

18:14 – Keeping Emotion in the Passenger Seat

20:06 – How Pressure and Systems Shape Leaders

24:15 – Holding Others Accountable Amid Your Own Imperfections

27:48 – Two Different Responses to Losing Your Cool

32:05 – Does Your Accountability Approach Work?

35:16 – The Emotional Environment Leaders Create

37:38 – Owning Your Reaction and Rebuilding Connection

Think about a recent moment when pressure affected your response. What did your behavior teach others was acceptable?

If you missed your own standard, acknowledge it and decide how you want to respond the next time pressure rises.

The Social Animal by David Brooks

Antonio Damasio’s research on emotion and decision-making

Josh Hugo’s LinkedIn post about emotional regulation in leadership