EP 7: When Dad Isn't Ok

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EP 7: When Dad Isn't Ok

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We talk a lot about mom in this postpartum season. Today we turn the lens toward dad, because caring for the whole family matters. Scripture tells us that once married, we become one flesh — his wellbeing and yours are tied together.⚠️ Note: This episode discusses depression and briefly mentions thoughts of death and self-harm. Pause or listen with someone you trust if you need to. Help is available: call or text 988, or 911 for immediate danger.Key TopicsHow common it is, and why it shows up later than mom'sWhy it looks different, and why screening misses itVerses that get misused on struggling menWhat genuinely helps, plus this week's Doula Insight Roughly 1 in 10 dads get depressed between pregnancy and baby's first birthday — three meta-analyses of 20,000–41,000 fathers all landed between 8% and 10.4% (Paulson & Bazemore, 2010; Cameron et al., 2016; Rao et al., 2020). Dad's depression builds gradually across the first year, later than mom's (Walsh et al., 2020). The popular "25% at 3–6 months" figure came from one study and wasn't replicated (Rao et al., 2020). Their mental health is linked both ways — a depressed partner roughly triples the other parent's odds, though no study shows which way cause runs (Escribà-Agüir & Artazcoz, 2011). It often looks like irritability, anger, withdrawal, drinking, or numbness, not sadness (Walsh et al., 2020; Scarff, 2019). Nearly 1 in 4 men in one cohort reported strong anger urges (Macdonald et al., 2020). Screening tools were built for mothers — dads were far less likely to endorse 7 of the 10 standard questions (Kennedy & Munyan, 2021).Guidelines lag the evidence. ACOG's guideline covers only the pregnant or postpartum patient (ACOG, 2023), and AAP merely says pediatricians should "consider" screening the partner at 6 months (Earls et al., 2019) — which AAP's own journal calls inadequate (Walsh et al., 2020).Father-specific support beats generic couples' classes for his anxiety (Fisher et al., 2022), and calling it "new dad" support rather than treatment gets men in the room (Rodrigues, 2022).Honest gap: no treatment trials exist for depressed new fathers, and most dads who want support never get it (Goldstein et al., 2020; Mancinelli & Filippi, 2025).Bible VersesDeuteronomy 24:51 Kings 19:4-9Exodus 18:17-23Philippians 4:131 Corinthians 10:131 Timothy 5:8Psalm 34:17-18Psalm 42:5-6Galatians 6:2Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (ESV & NIV)SourcesPaulson & Bazemore 2010, JAMA Cameron 2016 (PMID 27475890) Rao 2020 (PMID 31757623) Escribà-Agüir & Artazcoz 2011 (PMC3069755) Scarff 2019 (PMC6659987) Kennedy & Munyan 2021 (PMC8752439) Earls 2019, AAP Pediatrics Walsh 2020, Pediatrics ACOG CPG No. 4, 2023 (PMID 37486660) Fisher 2022 (PMC9692859) Goldstein 2020 (PMID 32090778) Rodrigues 2022 (PMC8810528) Mancinelli & Filippi 2025 (PMC12494583) Dennis & Dowswell 2021, Cochrane CD001134 (mothers).Faith: Briones (Ligonier) Scrivener (TGC) Welch (CCEF) Take my hand, Mama. Let's do this together. Share this with someone who needs it. DM me, comment, or find me at Beloved Motherhood.Thoughts of suicide or self-harm? Call or text 988. Emergency: 911.

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