After hearing Kali’s story, you might be left wondering: How does something this extreme ever become normal?

In this episode of Stories We Weren’t Supposed to Tell, we go back through Kali’s story and break down the manipulation tactics that kept her trapped in an abusive marriage for nearly 20 years.

We talk about how the relationship moved incredibly fast, the future faking and image management that helped build trust, and how small acts of control slowly escalated into intimidation, isolation, financial abuse, spiritual abuse, and violence.

We also break down how coercive control doesn’t always look like someone physically preventing you from leaving. Sometimes it looks like making relationships with family so exhausting that you stop reaching out. Sometimes it’s making you question your own judgment. Sometimes it’s using your beliefs, your children, your finances, or your own sense of responsibility against you.

Most importantly, we talk about how abuse can slowly expand what a person learns to survive. Every time Kali adapted to one level, another was added until things that once would have seemed unimaginable became her everyday life.

Because the cage isn’t always built overnight.

Sometimes the bars are added one at a time until you don’t even realize you’re living inside one.

And when we return to what Kali said she would tell herself at her lowest point, her story leaves us with something worth remembering:

There are brighter days ahead.

⚠️ This episode discusses domestic violence, physical and emotional abuse, child abuse, spiritual abuse, coercive control, financial abuse, intimidation, and manipulation.

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence or needs support, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or text START to 88788.