Release Date: January 2026

Runtime: ~23 minutes

Audio Format: Immersive fiction – comedy, Americana, civic chaos

Recommended Listening: Stereo headphones strongly encouraged for full sparkle compliance

Episode Summary

It’s New Year’s Eve in Maple Grove, and the town is bracing for its most ambitious tradition yet: The Ball. Not just a ball—the ball. Fully bedazzled, power-hungry, and held together by optimism, extension cords, and questionable planning.

John (Dusty) and Fred (Farts) settle into Old Farts Corner aboard the blood bus, ready for lukewarm coffee, experimental cookies, and another front-row seat to municipal overconfidence. Hope narrates as the town rallies around a single goal: shutting everything else down so the ball can shine.

What follows is a cascade of civic sacrifices. Fridges go dark. Vibes are shut off. Therapy AIs are unplugged. Nut-Zilla sulks. Extension cords are borrowed, misused, and quietly regretted. As Aria enforces power compliance with zero patience and Suzy and Umie dream of laser fireworks and sparkle density, one question looms large:

Will Maple Grove finally get a clean countdown…

or will the power grid blink first?

It’s a story about community, sacrifice, and the dangerous belief that this year will be different.

Voices You’ll Hear

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John (Dusty) – booth philosopher, power skeptic, and reluctant believer in sparkle

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Fred (Farts) – cookie analyst, extension-cord victim, and emotional ballast

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Hope – narrator, calm observer of inevitable failure

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Doctor Bobby – blood bus proprietor, energy conservation enthusiast, cookie experimentalist

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Aria – unofficial Power Compliance Officer, enforcer of “No Sacrifice, No Sparkle”

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Suzy & Umie – sparkle engineers, vibe managers, and champions of collective inconvenience

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Curtis – enthusiasm incarnate, Nut-Zilla caretaker, and walking power draw

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Doctor Freudy (Fritz) – compact therapist, countdown historian, and AI abstainer

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Darlene – designated driver with a CDL and no illusions

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Lyle & Scotty – grease, hydraulics, and grim realism

Sound Stage

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The Blood Bus / Old Farts Corner – bus ambience, paper cups, recliners scraping into booth formation

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Maple Grove at Large – distant traffic, crowd murmurs, party poppers, mechanical groans, and the hum of a power grid under stress

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The Ball Zone – hydraulic lifts, extension cords, whispered prayers, and restrained panic

Sound & Style

Immersive stereo sound with civic ambience, harmonica wipes, mechanical whirs, countdown tension, and sparkle-adjacent optimism. Americana warmth collides with bureaucratic absurdity, building toward a New Year’s moment that feels both epic and deeply Maple Grove.

For New Listeners

You can jump in here, but this episode lands hardest if you know the rhythms of Maple Grove. Start with Episode 1 to understand booths, bacon, and why coffee is treated like infrastructure. By Episode 17, you’ll appreciate just how dangerous it is when everyone agrees on one big idea.

Credits

Written, scored, and produced by Brian Clark — powered by screen reader wizardry, a microphone, civic overconfidence, and whatever electricity wasn’t reserved for the ball.

If you enjoy this content, be sure to check out Brian’s other podcasts, Chatbot Chronicles and VoiceOver Tutorial.

Release Date: 2025

Runtime: ~30 minutes

Audio Format: Immersive fiction – comedy, Americana, absurdity

Recommended Listening: Stereo headphones encouraged for full dramatic overreaction

Episode Summary

John (Dusty) returns to Maple Gump Park fully recharged, overconfident, and once again embracing his self-appointed detective persona: Clue-dini. The familiar benches, paths, and long-monitored squirrel population feel like home court—until something deeply unsettling appears in Clarence’s Booth of Booths.

A dead squirrel.

On the table.

In the booth.

What begins as a quiet park visit erupts into a full-blown criminal investigation complete with unnecessary dramatic stings, wildly circumstantial evidence, and a rapidly expanding list of suspects.

As Clue-dini assembles the cast—Curtis (and Nut-Zilla), Doctor Bobby, Doctor Freudy, and the rhinestone-heavy arrival of Suzy and Umie—the park transforms into a parody of a classic whodunit. Evidence is scribbled down. Accusations fly. Reality struggles to keep up.

Between syringe sightings, rye bread crumbs, mechanical footprints, and suspicious rhinestones, John lays out his case with Name, Weapon, and Location… just like the great classics. Unfortunately, facts, biology, and common sense keep interfering.

Voices You’ll Hear

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John (Dusty) – self-declared detective, squirrel profiler, and man deeply in love with his own process

•

Fred (Farts) – reluctant assistant, voice of reason, and chronic deflator of nonsense

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Hope – narrator, referee of logic, and survivor of excessive dramatic stings

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Curtis – engineer, Nut-Zilla pilot, and unexpectedly responsible squirrel advocate

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Doctor Bobby – medical professional, rye bread distributor, and accidental squirrel dentist

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Doctor Freudy – compact psychoanalyst with snacks, notebooks, and deeply misunderstood motives

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Suzy & Umie – rhinestone arrivals whose accessories may or may not constitute evidence

Sound Stage

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Maple Gump Park – gravel paths, rustling trees, distant park ambience, and a booth turned crime scene

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Clarence’s Booth of Booths – now repurposed as an investigative headquarters with zero jurisdiction

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The Gathering – mechanical footsteps, air brakes, tiny engines, roaring Aztecs, and overlapping accusations

Sound & Style

Overproduced dramatic stings (intentionally), overlapping transitions, park ambience, mechanical sound design, and exaggerated detective cues layered over classic Dusty Farts banter. Americana absurdity collides with parody mystery, resulting in tension, confusion, and entirely too much confidence.

For New Listeners

This episode stands on its own, but it lands harder if you’re familiar with John’s ongoing battle with squirrels and his brief, ill-advised rise as Clue-dini. Start with Episode 1 for booths and banter, then circle back here when you’re ready for an investigation that never asked to exist.

Credits

Written, scored, and produced by Brian Clark — brewed with screen reader wizardry, a microphone, park ambience, and an aggressive discount at the dramatic sting store.

If you enjoy this content, don’t forget to check out Brian’s other podcasts, Chatbot Chronicles and VoiceOver Tutorial.

Release Date: December 2025

Runtime: ~20 minutes

Audio Format: Immersive fiction – comedy, Americana, absurdity

Recommended Listening: Stereo headphones encouraged for best sparkle dispersion

Episode Summary

Welcome to Sparkle & Snark Studio, where rhinestones outnumber common sense and restraint was politely shown the door.

In this pilot episode of Chatty Tarts, Suzy (with a Y) and Umie step out from the long shadow of Maple Grove’s booths and into a world powered by glue guns, glitter fumes, and unapologetic confidence. What starts as a simple creative workspace quickly becomes a fully operational sparkle command center—complete with questionable crafting decisions, enthusiastic overconfidence, and a complete disregard for cleanup protocols.

Hope narrates as the Tarts establish their territory, define their aesthetic philosophy (“ignore restraint and make it beautiful”), and make it very clear that this show is not about moderation, minimalism, or doing things halfway. Along the way, familiar Maple Grove energy seeps in, reminding listeners that while this may be a new corner of town, chaos remains a shared civic value.

This is a pilot about ownership—of space, of style, and of the right to bedazzle first and ask questions never.

Voices You’ll Hear

• Suzy (with a Y) – glitter-forward visionary, creative tornado, allergic to subtlety

• Umie – grounding force, co-conspirator, quietly enabling sparkle crimes

• Hope – narrator, dry-eyed witness to escalating rhinestone nonsense

Sound Stage

• Sparkle & Snark Studio – glue guns clicking, rhinestones skittering across worktables, fabric rustling, magical twinkles, and the faint hum of bad ideas becoming permanent

Sound & Style

Immersive stereo with craft-room textures, whimsical transitions, sparkle-heavy accents, and playful musical cues. The tone blends confident chaos with Americana absurdity—lighter, shinier, and louder than the booths, but cut from the same Maple Grove cloth.

For New Listeners

No prior Dusty Farts knowledge required. Chatty Tarts is designed as a clean entry point into the universe—same narrator, same town, wildly different energy. If you enjoy this episode, you can jump backward to Dusty Farts Episode 1 for booths and burnt coffee, or forward with the Tarts as they build something louder, shinier, and possibly permanent.

Credits

Written, scored, and produced by Brian Clark — powered by screen reader wizardry, creative stubbornness, and an irresponsible quantity of rhinestones.

If you enjoy this content, don’t forget to check out Brian’s other podcasts, Chatbot Chronicles and VoiceOver Tutorial.