She's forty-one. Partner at her firm. Owns her home. She texted the love line and told me every person she meets is missing something — great on paper but no spark, or chemistry but not on the same level. She said she refuses to settle. I told her she's not settling. She's screening for the wrong thing entirely.

This is the episode where I break down the difference between screening for a résumé and screening for a response — and why the most accomplished people I work with are running a filter that catches impressive and lets safe walk right past them. Your dealbreakers might make perfect sense on paper. But if your list is long and your phone is quiet, something in that filter needs to change.

I also share the story of a match I made that shouldn't have worked on paper — and the one line she said to me six months in that changed how I match people permanently.

If you're accomplished, you're selective, and you're still here — this one was made for you.

Got a question for the show? Email blacktie@blacktieintroductions.com and you might hear your answer on air.

Work with me: Matchmaker on Call — $997 for the year, your own matchmaker in your corner and back pocket when you need an answer. Or join The Black Book Private Registry — $199 a year or $19.99 a month. Check it out here: www.theblackbook.blacktieintroductions.com

Life without love is not an option. Stay Smitten.