What is it really like to navigate the "whitest city in America" as a Black woman? Host Leigh LaRie and guest co-host Charlisa "Chadowboxx" Harris sit down with the vibrant Alexis McKinney—better known as Lex in the City—to discuss the reality of being Black and bougie in Portland, Oregon.

Alexis, a Milwaukee native and professional content creator, shares her journey of moving to the PNW for work and the "culture shock" that came with it—not because she wasn't used to diversity, but because she was used to Black excellence being the norm. From experiencing microaggressions at a Jesuit college to navigating the "transplant bubble," Alexis gets real about the elitism that exists within the local community and why "where the Black people at?" is a lazy question.

They dive deep into the Portland dating scene, the "resentment spirit" in ambitious relationships, and why Alexis isn't afraid to shoot her shot. Plus, stay tuned as Alexis curates the ultimate Portland guide, sharing her favorite "Black & Bougie" spots, the best hiking trails, and why following DJs is better than following venues.

Whether you're a Portland native or a new transplant, this episode is a masterclass in building community, maintaining boundaries, and living your best "Black Girl Magic" life in the Rose City.

• [00:00] Intro: Welcome to Episode 6 – Black & Bougie in Portland
• [01:10] The Small Community Reality: Understanding Portland’s 6% Black population
• [02:55] Meet Alexis McKinney: The "Lex in the City" Origin Story
• [04:20] Milwaukee vs. Portland: Growing up in one of America's most segregated cities
• [05:40] The Awakening: Dealing with microaggressions at a PWI
• [07:15] Blackness is not a Monolith: From Anime nerds to Creative musicians
• [09:20] Spike Lee and Cinematography: Leigh’s high school awakening
• [11:00] The "Transplant Bubble": The Class of 2017-2019 Yearbooks
• [12:30] Swiping for Friends: Using apps to build community pre-pandemic
• [14:15] Pivot to Curation: Throwing events for Black women in Washington County
• [16:15] Defensive Natives: Why transplants should stop complaining about their new city
• [18:15] Regional Segregation: Why you only see Black people on the North Side
• [19:15] The Soul Food Debate: Why restaurant soul food rarely hits like Sunday dinner
• [21:00] The Mediocrity Trap: Professionalism and feedback in Black-owned businesses
• [23:15] Following the DJ: How to find your vibe in the Portland nightlife
• [24:10] Generational Spaces: Why we need more 30+ clubs in Portland
• [25:35] Shooting Your Shot: Alexis’s different experience with dating in the PNW
• [26:50] Hair Narratives: How different styles attract different types of men
• [28:10] The "Spice Intolerant" Ex: A pandemic dating cautionary tale
• [30:50] The Resentment Spirit: When men struggle with ambitious, career-driven women
• [33:15] Living Alone: Why having your own space is a dating non-negotiable at 30
• [36:40] Content Creation Burnout: Moving from corporate marketing to personal branding
• [39:2...

Get ready for one of the juiciest episodes yet! Host Leigh LaRie and guest co-host Charlisa "Chadowboxx" Harris are opening the vault and diving into your "Dear Dirty Roses" listener letters. From bizarre ex-lover friendships to delusional "magic sticks," no topic is off-limits in this candid and hilarious advice session.

Leigh kicks things off by sharing her own "brave but regrettable" experience going live on a national dating platform, only to be "eaten alive" by internet trolls—including a hater who tried to sabotage her live stream with a phone call! The ladies then tackle a series of anonymous letters that will have you clutching your pearls. They discuss the "Mr. Detective" ex who only calls when he senses misfortune, a man looking for the "cheat code" to transition from physical flings to true love, and the "opposite sex best friend" dynamic that feels a little too close for comfort.

Plus, don't miss the dramatic reading of the "Delusional Ding Dong" letter and a cautionary tale about why you should never send a dick pic with a ruler next to it—especially to your coworkers! Whether you're looking for dating "cheat codes" or just a good laugh at someone else's misfortune, this episode is exactly what you need.

• [00:00] Intro: Welcome to Episode 5 – Dear Dirty Roses
• [00:45] Product Highlight: Mylani Vegan Golden Indulgence Body Oil
• [02:30] Have you ever submitted a letter for advice?
• [04:15] Leigh’s Dating Site Experiment: Going Live with Kendra G
• [06:40] The Internet Ate Me Up: Dealing with Trolls and Haters
• [09:50] Letter #1: Ms. Stubbed Toe & Mr. Detective – The Ex who loves your minor suffering
• [12:20] Gleeful Squeals: Identifying "miserable" people who plot on your downfall
• [14:45] Can you really be "just friends" after being intimate?
• [20:30] Rules of Engagement: Setting boundaries for yourself, not others
• [21:30] Letter #2: No Play to Foreplay – A "reformed" selfish lover looking for the five-star experience
• [24:20] The BDSM Test: A cornerstone for sexual communication
• [25:50] Change of Scenery: How Airbnbs and balconies open up the "uninhibited" side
• [30:00] Planning the Perfect Date: Door swings and sensory deprivation
• [31:45] The Shroom Date Disaster: When the walls start melting
• [34:15] Letter #3: Opposite Sex Best Friends – Emotional cheating vs. platonic boundaries
• [37:05] The Ploy of Jealousy: Why some men deliberately mention other women
• [43:20] Career "Side Chicks" and targeting men in relationships
• [45:10] Letter #4: Secret Lovers – When you’re embarrassed to admit who you’re dating
• [50:50] Aesthetic Shame: The "Chubby Chaser" dynamic and loving out loud
• [53:30] Letter #5: Delusional Ding Dong – Dealing with the "un-magical" magic stick
• [57:25] Is it the "Motion in the Ocean"? The Keisha Ka'oir and Kanye West theory
• [01:00:20] The Google Search: What is the actual average size?
• [01:03:30] Letter #6: The Aspiring Eater – Tips for giving the best "headlock" exper...

In this powerful episode, host Leigh LaRie and guest co-host Charlisa "Chadowboxx" Harris are joined by Martae Brown—a Northeast Portland native, Jefferson High School alumnus, former professional athlete, and current educator and restorative justice advocate.

Titled "Love Letters to the Hood," this conversation is a deep dive into the authenticity and history of Black Portland. Martae shares his journey from "mobbing" to the corner store with the homies to becoming the "Allen Iverson of education," disrupting the school system and speaking at Harvard University. He reflects on growing up in the mid-90s during the height of gang culture, overcoming the "double dutch" of street life and school, and the pivotal role a strong mother and a dedicated village played in his success.

Martae gets real about the challenges of being a Black man in education, overcoming early childhood loss, and the importance of "epigenetics"—the feeling that you are a living representation of your ancestors' strength and struggle. This episode is an inspiring testament to grit, resilience, and showing up as your 100% authentic self.

• [00:00] Intro: Welcome to Season 7, Episode 4
• [01:30] Meet Martae Brown: Northeast Portland Legend and Jeff Alum
• [02:26] What "The Hood" Represents: Authenticity and Black History
• [03:40] From Northeast to Harvard: The Journey of a Hood Psychologist
• [05:42] The Power of a Push: How Mentors Changed Martae’s Relationship with School
• [07:10] Behavior is Communication: Apologizing to the Math Teacher
• [09:47] Childhood Memories: KC Foodmart, 99-cent Arizonas, and Walking the Quad
• [12:17] Backstreets and Alleys: The Survival Lessons of Portland’s Neighborhoods
• [13:16] Overcoming Loss: Speaking at Rob Ingram’s Funeral at 15
• [16:05] The Challenges of an Educator: Addressing Implicit Bias in the Classroom
• [17:20] "Are you the new Custodian?": Breaking Stigmas in the School System
• [21:09] Overcoming the Narrative: Why we don’t have to "Come from the Mud" to be Great
• [24:50] College Football and Activism: Raising a Fist in North Dakota
• [27:52] Humble Beginnings: Air Mattresses and Struggle in Arizona
• [31:05] Quick From the Hip: Using Comedy (Bernie Mac & Martin) as a Defense Mechanism
• [33:50] Subtle Flexes: Sitting with Ice Cube, Gary Payton, and T-Grizzly
• [35:21] Regrets and Night School: Threatening the Teacher and Saving the Senior Year
• [38:15] The Phone Call: How Mom Advocated for Her Oldest Son
• [41:30] Marriage and Fatherhood: Being a Girl Dad in a House Full of Strong Women
• [45:36] The Purpose of a Man: Leaving a Legacy Beyond Transactions
• [49:01] Sobriety and Strength: Uplifting the Wife’s Journey and Encouraging Safe Spaces
• [53:40] Parenting vs. The Hero Complex: Learning to Slow Down After a Trauma-Filled Workday
• [57:25] Finding Joy in the Stillness: Kirk Franklin’s "Den of Kings" Inspiration
• [01:00:44] Brotherhood and Tattoos: God, Goddess, and Dedication
• [01:...