Fran’s GP has replaced its receptionists with an AI called Emma, which cannot understand a Sheffield accent and kept looping her back to the start. After half an hour she gave up and described an entirely fictional incident involving a baby, a horse and a banana skin. The AI read it back. She confirmed it. It is now on her record.

We also investigate Jim’s fireproof envelope, which contained a photograph of Bill Roach, a single 1992 cigarette and a colostomy bag. No satisfactory explanation was given.

Elsewhere: Scott returns from Spain with something resembling Covid, GP forms now explicitly ask patients not to send photographs of their genitals, a man loses a thousand pounds on roulette, and a helter skelter inflicts genuine physical damage.

The Depressed CEO Podcast, new episodes every week.

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Fran asked for one small AI edit to a holiday photo. She got six legs, one giant leg, and eventually a usable version with a hidden Ross Kemp in the reflection of the water that took her several minutes to find on air.

We talk Traitors - scrapping the challenges, James Blunt’s shower scene, Claudia Winkleman as a flatmate, and a genuinely strong business idea: Traitors, but as a package for stag dos.

Plus the correct way to build a hot dog!

The Depressed CEO Podcast, new episodes every week.

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Jim worked a gig where the security briefing covered bombs, weapons and, at far greater length, collapsible chairs. Jackie was very clear. No chairs.

He also ate a cheeseburger from the hot counter of Piccadilly Spar at 3am. Raw onion, leather patty, worse than a Rustlers.

Elsewhere: Fran smuggled a bottle lid into a festival in her bra, Dave found an old Handycam in his dad's shed with the original Hoover Man tapes on it, and we get into why people are rebuilding paid creative software with AI and giving it away. If buying isn't owning, then pirating isn't stealing.

Plus a pedicure that raised questions, and how far EasyJet's product line should be allowed to go.

The Depressed CEO Podcast, new episodes every week.

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Fran has brought gifts. Two fluffy bunny slippers, one with a full egg inside it, both of which she once used to stamp out a dressing gown fire at a girls night while completely sober. Everyone in the room initially assumed the smoke was a new lighting effect.

We also cover: why Deborah Meaden putting her moleskin down is the single most powerful gesture on British television, the Dragon who turned down the Tangle Teaser, and the state of the Traitors lineup.

Then Jim returns to Brussels for the parts of the stag do he left out last week, including the fact that you are no longer allowed to bring meats and cheeses back from Europe, and what may or may not have been in his hand luggage on the way home.

Also, we’re close to a thousand subscribers. Please subscribe, it genuinely helps.

The Depressed CEO Podcast, new episodes every week.

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Thanks for listening make sure you follow us on our socials. Sign up to our Patreon where members get an exclusive extra monthly episode plus bonus content.

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Jim's back from a stag do in Brussels where the nearly 50 year old groom was in bed by 9pm and his dad outlasted everyone. The weekend opened with the death of the groom's cat, which we resolved by proposing it be embalmed and driven down the aisle on a remote control car carrying the rings. Jim then walked home at 3:45am to a hotel so bad he barricaded the door with a mattress.

Elsewhere: a memorial for the fancy cupcake boom and the American sweet shop, what's actually being sold in those shops, Jim's laundry detergent subscription, and an indefensible amount of time on teenage deodorant.

Largely a shameless bid for sponsorship. Mr Fitzpatrick's, if you're listening.

The Depressed CEO Podcast, new episodes every week.

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Jim's back from holiday with a real leather hat bought for him by his father in law, and to this day nobody is certain whether it was a genuine gift or an elaborate joke.

Fran then tells the story of attempting a full home wax during the 2020 heatwave, the wax running somewhere it should not have run, and the resulting conversation she had to have with her mother.

Plus: ear cameras and the earwax that looked like a raisin, a full list of grievances with the film Titanic, and a game called Was It Mr Burns Or Was It Nestlé, which gets genuinely bleak.

The Depressed CEO Podcast, new episodes every week.

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Jim's back from holiday. Two hours after arriving, a car came off the road above the hotel and landed three storeys down into the exact rooms they were meant to be staying in. The car was folded like a deck chair.

Then the main event: Dave has been signed up, without his knowledge, to a website where you sell used underwear. We build him a four tier pricing model based on how many pairs he can wear at once, and Fran pitches a way to cut out the middleman.

Also: why aeroplane seatbelts are pointless, why the emergency slide should be an option every time, and a long standing misunderstanding about what men do at a urinal.

The Depressed CEO Podcast, new episodes every week.

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Jim's away (a car crashed into his hotel room, he's fine), so it's just the two of us this week with absolutely nothing planned.

We get into: the friend who makes birthday cards out of ready meal sleeves and why it's better than anything Clintons could sell you, the ex who owned two knives, two forks and two cups and wouldn't allow a bath mat, resulting in a miniature one being smuggled in and out of the flat in a backpack for months, and what genuinely gives you the ick.

Plus TK Maxx as a cultural institution, the discovery of Booths, why being tucked into your napkin at a fancy restaurant feels like being put to bed, the Halloween party where one of us was saved in a phone as Toilet Woman, and a speed awareness course workaround so elaborate it might be the most ADHD thing ever committed to tape. Allegedly.

The Depressed CEO Podcast, new episodes every week.

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Thanks for listening make sure you follow us on our socials. Sign up to our Patreon where members get an exclusive extra monthly episode plus bonus content.

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