Grief support for men who've lost their dads. This week: Dave Siff on the sudden, no-warning death of his father — and the mystery that came with it.

Dave texted his 85-year-old dad and got one garbled reply back. Days later he was in the same ICU where his mom died, deciding when to pull the tube. Then the breathing tube came out — and his dad's eye shot open and locked onto him. "This is it. I can't look away right now."

What he didn't know yet: something no one could explain had killed his father.

This one's for the guys whose dad's death came with a mystery they're still carrying — a sudden loss and a cause that didn't make sense until it was over. Not for you if you want a tidy, comforting take on dying.

In this episode:



• Why a sudden, no-warning death can wreck you harder than a long goodbye — and why that's not overreacting
• What it's like to make the call to stop treatment, and the second-guessing that follows
• The strange relief of finally getting an answer — and the new weird that shows up once you have it
• Why the last ordinary thing you did with your dad ends up outweighing the funeral
• How losing your dad quietly reorders what you'll put up with in your own life
• Permission to find some of this darkly funny without feeling like a bad son

⏱️ Episode chapters:

00:00 Garbled Text Warning

00:11 Welcome And Guest Tease

00:46 Support The Podcast

01:54 Meet Dave Siff

02:04 Why Dead Dads

02:29 Introducing Paul Siff

04:17 A Healthy 85

05:53 Procedure Goes Wrong

08:55 ICU And Uncertainty

12:02 Palliative Care Decision

13:23 Final Moments And Shock

14:16 Cause Of Death Revealed

15:33 When He Stopped Being Him

17:09 Anniversary And New Priorities

21:32 Keeping Dad Alive

22:54 Guilt And Self Kindness

24:25 What Grief Teaches

25:05 Thanks And Subscribe

25:47 Closing Tagline

About Dave and his dad, Paul:

Dave Siff lost his dad, Paul — suddenly, at 85, with no warning. Paul was a college professor of 42 years, a cyclist, a scotch drinker, and the guy who taught Dave to add "two, three, four drops of water" to a bourbon. A conversation about what a father passes down, and what gets quietly reordered when he's gone.

Another guy in the club → Matty Woods on his dad's funeral with two rules: https://youtu.be/Ocm8NTnDLX4

About Dead Dads:

Dead Dads is the podcast for men figuring out life after losing their dad. Hosted by Roger Nairn and Scott Cunningham, it's honest conversation about father loss, grief, identity, family, memory, and masculinity — and all the strange stuff that happens after your dad dies. No grief-brochure voice. No tidy healing arc. Losing your dad sucks. But talking about it doesn't have to. You're not alone.

If this episode helped you feel a little less alone, follow the show and leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts — it's the single biggest thing that helps another guy in the club find us.

☕ Buy us a coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/deaddadspodcast

Follow Dead Dads:

Website: https://www.deaddadspodcast.com/

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Produced with support from JAR Podcast Solutions, the branded podcast agency that helps organizations build shows people actually want to spend time with: https://jarpodcasts.com/

James turned 21. He spent the day on the golf course with his mates. That night he was downstairs drinking champagne while, upstairs, his dad Willie was dying.

At 10pm, on his birthday, it was over.

That was the day James became a man who'd lost his father. The same date he's been asked to celebrate every year since.

James joins Roger and Scott to talk about bowel cancer, the diagnosis, the final days, and what 25 years of grief actually looks like when the loss is tied to a date you can never avoid.

This one's for the guy whose grief still shows up on a certain day every year. The guy who lost his dad before he'd figured out who he was. The guy whose birthday quietly became an anniversary.

In this episode:

• Losing his dad Willie at 10pm on his 21st birthday

• What grief looks like 25 years later

• The day the bowel cancer diagnosis arrived

• Fighting, coping, and the final days

• "Death math" and the arithmetic of anniversaries

• Health checks, colonoscopies, and becoming a father yourself

• Building an adult life without a dad's advice

• Keeping grandpa alive for children who never met him

• The hug he gives his kids now, the one Willie gave him

• What he'd say if he got one more conversation

About James and Willie

James Wood Robertson lost his dad Willie to bowel cancer 25 years ago, at 10pm on his own 21st birthday. Since then, he's learned how to carry a loss that never leaves the calendar, how to become a father without a blueprint, and how to keep a grandfather alive through stories.

It's a conversation about father loss, cancer, memory, fatherhood, and the small inheritances that outlast the people who gave them.

And yes, there are laughs. Because grief is weird like that.

⏱️ Episode chapters

00:00 Why James Is Here

01:05 Support The Podcast

02:31 Meet James Wood Robertson

04:23 Grief 25 Years Later

07:31 Who Willie Was

08:26 The Cancer Diagnosis Day

11:37 Fighting And Coping

12:46 His Final Days And Passing

15:37 Anniversaries And Death Math

16:56 Health Checks And Fatherhood

19:23 Life Without A Dad's Advice

23:01 Keeping Grandpa Alive

26:23 Hugs And Lasting Love

27:10 If He Could Talk Again

29:24 Final Advice And Goodbye

About Dead Dads

Dead Dads is a podcast for men figuring out life after losing their dad. Hosted by Roger Nairn and Scott Cunningham, the show features honest conversations about grief, identity, family, memory, masculinity, and all the strange things that happen after your father dies.

No grief brochure voice. No tidy healing arc. Just real conversations.

You're not alone.

☕ If The Dead Dads Podcast has helped you feel a little less alone, consider buying us a coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/deaddadspodcast

Follow The Dead Dads Podcast:

Website: https://www.deaddadspodcast.com/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@deaddadspodcast

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/deaddadspodcast/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dead.dads.podcast

Substack: https://substack.com/@deaddadspodcast

And listen to us here, or wherever you enjoy podcasts:

Spotify

Apple Podcasts

New episodes every week.

Dead Dads Podcast is produced with the support of JAR Podcast Solutions, the branded podcast agency that helps organizations build shows people actually want to spend time with. Learn more at https://jarpodcasts.com/