Compassion in New York copertina

Compassion in New York

Compassion in New York

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 Welcome to Episode 10. This week, it's all about compassion, but not compassion in the way you might think we assume compassion is something we do for others, like something we're supposed to do. But this week, we're going to explore how compassion can really protect us. And I'll also share a sort of mysterious compassion practice that you can do right in the middle of your day. Hey there. So today's episode is in the form of two stories that actually took place about 20 years ago in in New York or nearby. And they might sound like they're kind of rambling but stick with it. There's actually a point to this. The first story takes place summertime, I was in second year in college. I had gotten a J-one visa to go and to work in the States. And I was playing Gaelic football for a team there, which was great fun, like going to Gaelic park in the Bronx and playing for the team. And the manager of the team had arranged a job for me before I went over. This was actually my second summer being in New York. The previous summer, I sort of illegally worked as a plumber and worked in construction. But this time I was doing it properly with the visa and the proper job and everything organised. So the manager set me up with a job where I was the doorman in an Upper East Side apartment in Manhattan. And so not like a doorman, as in like a bouncer but the type of doorman who greets the person, has this sort of suit and hat and opens the door for them. And so it's an incredibly wealthy building. I was’nt actually the guy in the front door I was standing inside. And my job was that when the person would come in - the doorman would greet them, maybe take their bags, or whatever it was. And then when they'd come in, I had to know, are they going to the elevator on the left or the elevator on the right of the lobby. And they'd be about it was 16 floors, so and there was two apartments on each level. So like 32 families, roughly. And so I'd have to greet the person trying to think, okay, they're going to this elevator, I would walk with them to the elevator carrying their bags, if they've got something, and then they'd get into the I press the button, they'd get into the elevator, I'd get into the elevator, and then I'd have to know what floor are they going to, and I just pressed the button to the floor. So it was basically a completely pointless job. But I was about 20 at the time, and it paid really well. And it gave me this chance to see all these people who were millionaires. And you know, in lots of cases, billionaires, and sort of be up close and see what they were like. So it was really interesting. One thing that really became apparent was that even though these people seem to have everything and be incredibly wealthy, they actually looked less happy than the average person I know. And for a young guy, this was a real eye opener to me that, that incredible wealth doesn't really guarantee happiness at all. And in fact, they just looked quite stressed and under pressure and generally more tense than the average person. And then there was one exception, there was one guy, and he lived on the second floor from the top, like just below the pentose. And he immediately seemed really different. Like he tended to dress more casually, he walked in a more relaxed way and, and I talked with the other staff and found out that he was he was another like guy in this high pressure job for high stakes. But all the staff really liked him. You know, I could see things like when he'd come in, firstly, he'd know all the staff by name, which not everyone did. And he'd also like, stop and chat with them. And one of the guys I worked with was Puerto Rican. And he'd always say like, how's your dad getting on? How's the recovery going? And he knew things about everyone's lives. And you could see it just in how physically he carried himself. Like, he looked relaxed, his shoulders are relaxed. He's not rushing, his jaws, not tense. You know, often when I was with people in the elevator, their guard is down and you can just see they're like, yeah, they often looked really tense. Where as this guy was relaxed. He's in the present moment, he's chatting with me. He had a real interest in what I was doing. So we chat. He knew I was studying geology at the time. And he'd have a few things to say about that. And a few questions for me and just being like, generally encouraging. For some reason, he became like an archetype, like a symbol for me. And it really stuck in my mind. Like, how, how is he doing it? What's different about this guy? And it became like a puzzle to me or a Koan? Like a riddle, what is it about this guy? How can he do what he's doing? and still be present and relaxed? And I was thinking, like, I'd really like to be like that. How does he do it? What's he doing? Okay, so that's the first story. The second story is a strange one. I'm now 26 or so, I've been studying Tibetan Buddhism in a pretty focused way for...
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