When Kari and her husband started their family in 1994, they chose to be sealed in the temple because they believed that it would bind their family together for eternity. When Kimberly and their other children chose not to participate in the temple, it called those beliefs into question.

In this episode of Coffee and Cocoa, Kari and Kimberly consider their temple experiences and the meanings that have been given to temple rituals and symbols, both good and bad. They start with the basics for those who aren’t familiar with LDS temples--the differences between churches and temples, and who can and can’t enter the temple. They talk through the ways that the temple, which is supposed to bring families together, has sometimes become a wedge between them, and they end with how they continue to try to support each other in the things that are important to each of them.

What does it mean to be a peacemaker? In this episode of Coffee & Cocoa, Kari shares with Kimberly a presentation she attended by author, professor, and podcaster, Patrick Mason, where he shared four basic tools of peacemaking.

They discuss how people in the church often interpret and teach peacemaking as being passive and submissive and avoiding conflict, and they contrast that with Dallin Oaks recent address at the National Cathedral where he encouraged all people to learn the “language and methods of peacemaking”. They go through Patrick Mason’s four basic tools: normalizing conflict, seeing each other as people, reflecting intentionally on your theory of change, and cultivating inner peace. They talk about how they try to use these tools in their own lives, and how their values motivated the creation of this podcast.

If you struggle with avoiding conflict, or if you need more peace in your relationships, this episode will be helpful for you.

Our family is a lot bigger than just two people. This week, younger sister, Josie joins Coffee and Cocoa to tell her story for the first time start to finish.

Josie grew up as the “perfect child”: smart, pretty, a people-pleaser, and the girl everyone wanted to babysit their kids, but underneath all that was a lot she didn’t have words for yet.

She talks about growing up with undiagnosed autism and ADHD, tying her worth to her standing in the church, and what it was like when her oldest sibling left and the family stopped talking about it. She also shares what she went through as a teenager, how church leaders responded, and how therapy slowly helped her stop blaming herself. Then Josie, Kari, and Kimberly talk openly about the anger, the estrangement, and what it took to begin rebuilding their relationship.

Content note: This episode includes frank discussion of suicidal ideation, sexual assault and coercion, an emotionally abusive relationship, and a harmful experience with church discipline. Please take care of yourself while listening.