Pregnancy and baby loss are rarely discussed openly, but within the South Asian community, cultural stigma, expectations of hidden grief, and traditional silence can make an already tragic journey feel intensely isolating.
In this episode of Cradle, Kay talks to Imtiaz Fizal, who shares her extraordinary story of grief, endurance but also hope.
Having lost five children to a rare genetic condition and experienced 17 miscarriages over two decades, Imtiaz reflects on navigating deep personal sorrow without a space to speak about it.
She talks about the harsh contrast between cultural expectations around mourning, like being excluded from cemetery burials and being expected to move on after five days. But she also talks about an issue anyone faces after baby loss; the reality of living with lifelong grief.
Tragically she has also had to support her own daughter through loss, which has reopened past wounds. But now dedicates her life to breaking down barriers for other women and families in her community.
Key Themes
The Reality of Multiple Losses: Imtiaz recounts her journey through 17 miscarriages and the loss of five children to a recurring genetic disorder.
Cultural Stigma and Hidden Grief: How traditional expectations in the South Asian community often restrict open conversations about baby loss and emotional processing.
Gender Divide in Mourning: The distinct cultural rules separating men and women during funerals, burials, and grieving periods.
Intergenerational Trauma: The emotional impact of supporting her rainbow baby daughter through her own experience with miscarriage.
Peer Support as Healing: Turning two decades of isolation into community action by building safe spaces for women and men to share their stories.
Episode Timestamps
00:00 – Welcome to Cradle: Kay Crewdson on navigating baby loss and finding community.
01:25 – Imtiaz’s story: Recounting the loss of five children and a rare genetic diagnosis.
03:20 – Navigating 17 miscarriages and welcoming two rainbow babies.
04:09 – "Shush and keep it to yourself": Cultural silence in the South Asian community.
07:40 – The day of the funeral: Traditional rules, gender separation, and cemetery exclusions.
11:05 – The "five-day rule": How short mourning periods leave parents to grieve alone.
14:47 – Finding the strength to try again amidst repeated heartache.
18:42 – Reopening the box: Watching her daughter face baby loss and supporting her through it.
25:00 – Dark moments, mental health struggles, and finding a reason to keep going.
26:16 – How men grieve in silence: Cultural expectations placed on husbands.
33:00 – A daughter's goodbye: The night Imtiaz’s infant son passed away at home.
38:35 – Turning pain into purpose: Community work, breaking taboos, and helping others heal.
48:45 – Closing thoughts and resources for support via Cradle Charity.
LINKS
If you or someone you know has been affected by any of the themes discussed in this episode, support is available:
Cradle Charity: Access 1-to-1 support, peer groups, and counsellor-led sessions at cradlecharity.org.
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